The Mothership

  A cup of tea sits in waiting for a presence of the intentional time. It sits still as the taker slowly sips and chews, in bubbling ponder, on the meat from the word. The tea cannot be drank too quickly or the taker will be met with startled distraction and not absorbed peace. You see as we sit with the tea we also sit with HIM. In meditation and in worship we sit and listen…sit and say…sit and be. As we do, our vapors of praise rise to the ceiling of the sky, above the smoke and the clouds. They hover there and wait in their purpose of hallelujahs, pleas, and prayers. They hover, still simmering and waiting to rain down on the new vegetation. They become the frost which nourishes the new fruits because of the presence in the waiting.  Are you so filled because of the time you've made to sit and meditate? So filled that in your meditation you’ve made space for the vapors to be released unto the one? In doing so you faithful friend, you’ve poured out His love without ev...

I am a planner. I love making lists and I LOVE a good spreadsheet with colors and attributes. I love order. Until I don’t.  The order helps bring the peace. But does it really? I think it helps me compartmentalize my day and my skills of organization are fantastic tools to be utilized. But at some point, even the most organized feel distracted and out of control. While my organizing is a gift from the lord, it can also be a crutch. My need to organize leaves me crooked, in pain and in despair, whilst distracted. My need to organize can sweep out the peace from an otherwise lovely spontaneous moment. It can look overbearing. It can make people feel as if I see them as inferior even though I didn’t come with that intent. My need to be organized can make me not organized. And when I am feeling stuck in the muck I have made, I have a choice:  I can look to where God is leading me or  I can look to where I am leading myself.   More than likely one s...

I walk in to the kitchen and find myself in the middle of a conversation between Tim and Carolyn. Even though the boys are loud, and honestly myself too, Tim and Carolyn seem to be having a very intimate conversation before school. As I'm running through all the tasks at hand that need to be accomplished before they each walk out the door, Tim finds the space between the minutes to make them count. The boys are jabbering on and on about bodily functions and nonsense words whilst tying shoes. Meanwhile Tim and Carolyn could be in their own booth at a cute diner fully engrossed in their discussion. I'm fortunate enough that this is not the first time this scene has played. He loves talking with her...with all the kids. His time is limited and his words are few. But something the kids and I have no doubt about is that most words he speaks are weighed. Tim doesn't say much without first thinking it over. Here is what I hear between the chaos: T: Do you know how much I love your...

Normal is relative... Regular - to an extent - is relative... Without context most circumstances are relative. Before kids I was busy and tired. After kids I'm busy and tired. I don't think either was more or less tiring, it was just different times of my life and different energy was needed for what I was accomplishing for the day. This can be said for my time with Jesus. I have always wanted to spend time with him.  But my time availability is all relative.  And excuses can be made for each time of my life for not meeting with Him enough...but in reality, it's what I had energy for...and I think as long as you are pursuing Him, it is enough.  It is not a measured work of actions how much time you spend with Him.  Each person is different and each relationship with Jesus is unique.  Not everyone comes to him in the same way.  And I have not been able to always continue my routines whether they required more or less time. Change has been inevitable. ...

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt I feel as if I live a fairly joyous life. Yeah. I would say I am generally happy. I have beautiful kids, my husband and I have fun together and walk in relationship with Jesus...and many other blessings. I am a fairly positive person moving through life...and yet the enemy can still attack...not often, but he does it just enough.  And it is usually when I have realized a different piece in my calling.   He attacks me in my identity and tries to plant lies. He tries to strangle those seeds that God has planted and that are growing and squish the life from them.  The way he does this to me is mostly through comparison. He whispers: they are more fun than you they are nicer than you they are a better mom than you you are not looking like a Christian that person doesn't like you because you're not ... they are better at everything than you you are not enough And on and on it goes until I put a stop to it beca...

So, moms...I have such a deep appreciation for moms now.  If I had only realized how much of Jesus my mother tried to instill in me at the time, maybe I would have been more appreciative in my younger years.  A friend of mine leads a women's prayer group once a month.  It has provided me with a chance to meet Jesus in a quiet intimate time, in the middle of the day, with minimal distractions - which for a lot of moms can be hard.  This week we were reading over the verse, John 20:19-23. 1 9  That Sunday evening [ a ] the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. 20  As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! 21  Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” 22  Then he breathed on them and said, “Receiv...

Prayer works my friends.  It really does.  I have seen firsthand how it works time and time again.  I know this is not a revelation to a lot of you, but I am still amazed every time it does!  As a mother, I have been using prayer for things that I never would have thought I would. "Lord, please help me find my keys!" "Lord, give me patience for cleaning up the pee from the floor for the third time today." "Lord, take his boo-boo pain away right now!" "Lord, help me to be on time this morning." "Lord, please calm this terrorist of a toddler!" There are millions more, but another one has most recently been so effective for my children... "Lord, take away their nightmares..."  My children are really good sleepers.  They sleep through most nights, in their own beds, and fall asleep fairly quickly.  They sleep well at strange places, as long as we are there.  But, if someone is sick, all of that goes out the window, and...

As the new year begins I have some things that I'm trying to change...I guess we'll call them resolutions.  Sure... I think resolutions in years past have given me a sense of things that I haven't accomplished or sustained.  They give me a false sense of identity.  I become fixated on what needs to be taken out of my life instead of what I should be pouring into my life.  When I focus on what Christ wants for me and my family, then I focus more on his image in me.  I was made in his image which means I have Him in me which means I can't be so bad...it means part of me is good. One of the things I am focusing on this year will be slowing down and taking the time to enjoy the kids...those HARD moments with the kids.  I realize how fortunate I am that Tim and I have made allowances for me to stay home.  And I really have loved my young kids...oh I have loved it so.  But as they get older and need more independence, I find myself having too many o...

Parenting lately has been a little rough.  I have a toddler, who is cuddly, independent, and stubborn, a daughter who can be helpful, and dramatic when she is hangry and tired, and a Kindergartner who is smart, knows it all, impulsive, and thoughtful.  These personalities make for interesting days, and that's not even mentioning my personality traits (which some would say are a little on the "feeling" side).  And in the midst of it all... God is there... he is watching me he is protecting me he is wooing me he is teaching me he is showing me whom to love he is using me he is loving my children he is saving me and thank goodness for all of those things.  With these things he is molding me and my children.  And there is so much comfort knowing that he sees me even at my worst. he is watching me to see how much mercy and grace I will give my children when they spill their "whatever" for the 4th time before 9 am.  He is also watching me to know h...

So, praying for people... Sometimes I'm great at it and sometimes...not so much I LOVE prayer and praying for others.  The high that I get when God's words touch my lips so that he can bless someone is overwhelming.  He needs communication from us and some of the most powerful prayer is surrounded by other believers.  I love the feeling God gives me when the Holy Spirit enters a room and is helping guide prayer, and working on those receiving prayer.  It just makes me happy inside. Public prayer can make people so uncomfortable...including myself. Thoughts just flood my mind: should you close your eyes...should you open your eyes...what if I say something that offends someone...what if I don't say anything at all...should I touch this person...do they need a hug...should I stop praying...should I offer to pray...what if I cry... and that last one...that's the one that gets me.  Every.  Single.  Time. I am a cryer.  I cry about EVERYTHING!...

My God is a great God. A good God. And I believe He sees us through anything.  Anyone who knows me, knows I am very emotional. When I watch things, or read things in the news my mind becomes all encompassed. I feel as if my mind takes the information in like a breath of smoke and the smoke immediately moves down around my heart and just squeezes it until I remove myself from reading/seeing more. However, even after I try to remove myself, my soul seems to say, "keep thinking, keep praying," As if I am having a conversation with God and he is begging me to talk with Him and converse just like any friend would do if they were troubled. Now, I don't believe that God is troubled. However, I do believe he does this to me to draw in my attention.  He wants us to know that others are hurting so that we CAN pray for them and also so that it maybe changes our heart. Maybe that's wrong, but that's how I feel. I don't feel like he does this in a manipulative way, but a w...