The Mothership

It fascinates me how intricately woven we all are, one from another. We each have desires, abilities, and strengths that God so tightly knits into our souls that sometimes they come spilling out when we least expect it. What an exciting moment when you minister to someone's heart due to the overflow of what your heart has cultivated! From the goodness that he has placed in us, we continue to pour out even more than we dreamed...if we look to him.  When we pour out from the inflow of Him in our strengths, true Kingdom cultivation happens. In OUR strengths. Not someone else's strengths, but the strengths that are so different from person to person. When you think of specific details and attributes of who God created you to be, there in lies truth about your identity in HIM. Your identity is so different than mine because that’s how he intended.  It's also in the strengths that the enemy can speak the loudest. The attributes God has so tenderly loved and placed in our hearts ...

Struggles are real around here people. Struggles to make it through the days. Battles fought in the mind of identity, comparisons, and self worth. And this has been a struggle since I was little. However, my story never ends in defeat. The story always ends in victory. I know for some of us the battle is long, hard, and never seems to leave and for you...I am wholeheartedly praying. Praying for peace to break in and take hold. Because every time it does the battle has less casualties. I have come a long way, and ground is being taken and restored, but it has been a journey. I wanted to write about this to encourage anyone struggling with reading, writing, and comprehending. As a child, I was a struggling reader. I could read and decode the words on the page, but by the time I did, I had no idea what I had actually read. I would read, and reread, but not understand anything a text was saying. All the more, I hated writing and thought very little of anything I could produce. I hated re...

My heart hurts. It hurts for those who have to feel the loss of a loved one. For those who deal with pain, physically and mentally, on a daily basis. It hurts for those that don’t feel loved. And it hurts for those that feel they have to hurt others. I have been trying to formulate words about the violence in our world. I feel with every fiber of my heart what I’m sure is only a spec of the pain that God feels when we hurt. During worship one evening I feel like he encouraged me with this. I hope this encourages you. A girl runs effortlessly through a field in the midst of a valley. She runs with abandoned insecurities. She twirls as if there is nothing to loose. Some days she runs and some days she walks through the valley taking in all the details. It’s a familiar place. And all she can see is beauty before her. Joy spread across her cheeks. Joyful because she knows the love and the protection that lies within. She KNOWS his voice. It is written on her heart, in her mind, and s...

This post took me awhile to formulate. I even took notes and reflected on past journal entries. It is neat to see how God works over time and you don't notice it until you go back and look at all of the details. So I will save you all the back & forths and try to compile my thoughts One fall October morning at a ladies study, we were asked to pick up one of the leaves that were piled in front of us, that drew us in.  So I started for one and jokingly said to another lady, "Oh! I was going to pick that one!?!" I think I threw her off guard and she put it down not knowing my humor...so I picked it up so I didn't look like more of a jerk...anyway, it's funny because I ended up picking up two and this one seemed to reveal more to me than the other one.  At this time in the year, I felt like I was in a lull with God - not in a bad way, but in a "I'm happy doing these things you've laid on my heart and I am enjoying them, but what's next...

I'm early to my workout class...which is an anomaly in and of itself. Whenever I am there early I find myself feeling inadequate. I'm looking at myself in the large mirrors picking out all the "problem areas".  The room begins to fill with loads of ladies.  All different ages, capabilities, sizes, shapes...but none of that matters.  Most of the women in this class make it a POINT to workout.  They are here almost EVERY week.  The only things that keep them from coming are sickness, vacations, or caring and loving on their family. People talk and share stories from sleepless nights to taking care of grandbabies, to the vacations they were on...and we all meet in the middle. Class begins. and I continue looking at my shape and thinking of how my body "used to be...before kids...before marriage...before college..." and how it's just not good enough. This is a loooooong battle with the enemy right there.  He whispers these insecurities in my ears and m...

Friends are so important to me.  They provide me with the ability to see things clearly.  They love and support me, yada, yada, yada.  I could continue but I think everyone, in a different season of their life, has different aspects that are important to them in a friendship. I know the characteristics I valued as a teenager are most definitely NOT the same as they are now.  I have learned through a lot of friendships, or what I thought were friendships, hard truths of what I value in a friend.  But isn't that one of the points of high school...learning who you are and what you value?  I feel like I've only REALLY been able to reflect on this recently.  I wish I could go back in time and save myself a lot of emotional torment and grief.  However, I think all the emotional hurt was vital to my growth and understanding what I wanted in a friend. In this season of my life, I just don't have a lot of time.  My time is separated and do...

As the new year begins I have some things that I'm trying to change...I guess we'll call them resolutions.  Sure... I think resolutions in years past have given me a sense of things that I haven't accomplished or sustained.  They give me a false sense of identity.  I become fixated on what needs to be taken out of my life instead of what I should be pouring into my life.  When I focus on what Christ wants for me and my family, then I focus more on his image in me.  I was made in his image which means I have Him in me which means I can't be so bad...it means part of me is good. One of the things I am focusing on this year will be slowing down and taking the time to enjoy the kids...those HARD moments with the kids.  I realize how fortunate I am that Tim and I have made allowances for me to stay home.  And I really have loved my young kids...oh I have loved it so.  But as they get older and need more independence, I find myself having too many o...