The Mothership

We have been evaluating our family dynamics from morning routines, to evening routines, and seeing where we may have taken a turn from our initial intent. Tim asked me to read the book 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni. I highly recommend this easy to read tool. We are at the beginning stages of putting it into practice. In one of the activations, you are to strategize about your family values. One of my family values would be for my children to know the Bible and understand God in a real, living, way that can imprint their identity and also help guide them to where God can use them in the world.  But who's got time for that?!?! We are all out here trying to do our best. Our family during many months of the year can run ragged and maybe only all sit down to eat together twice a week. The values and focus we want to impress upon our children can get lost in the daily shuffle of “doings” if we are not careful and intentional with our time. I want to prioritize...

I see you. I know you. You seem familiar and resemble someone I know.  You are the woman holding her babe that seems happy in her arms with the invisible sleeping and attachment struggles from beneath the baby wearing garment. The woman who comes to the party, grimacing and half smiling because her little guy is pumeling everything in sight because he needs to. The woman who comes with the little one afraid to enter the crowd because it is too noisy or too much and all you want to do is socialize.  The woman who comes with a child that is over opinionated and remarks loudly to everything they process. The woman who so desperately wants to understand her child and would do anything to just “have an easy day.” I see your struggle, and your torment. And yet, somehow, I see your delight.  You see the joy in your child. And you feel as if you’re the only one able to see. You ask yourself that question that seems to be on repeat, “Does anyone else see the struggle and yet the l...

You have not lived the life of a first world parent until you have many stories of some kind of bodily fluid cleanup happenstance story. So many that you feel like no one else could have this many stories - but infact I can tell you that Susan down the street, as much as she is trying to hide it, ALSO has these stories under her belt. Let’s play a game of “Never have I ever...” where I name something and you lower your head in defeat if you have. READY?!?? NEVER HAVE I EVER...  Caught throw up in my hands...voluntarily  I’m gonna let that one sink in for a bit Never have I ever put my smiling baby up high in the air with their beautiful face looking down at you only to be directly vommited on with accuracy of a nuclear bomb.   Been changing a baby’s diaper and caught their poo in your hands mid change.  Awoken by the cry of someone breathing putrid smelling breath over you saying, “I fink I got sick mommy...” In the car on an awesome family vacation...

It's all different...all of it. Every part of my life is different since children. I wouldn't say it's ALL for the worse or for the better, but it has all changed. Hiking...oh my goodness is my pack heavy...and we don't just have ONE pack but two now.  And we need to have enough granola bars just to make it a mile to the treeline. Also, all the edges are now cliffs. Packing...my packing list used to be 3 pages typed in columns (I love lists) and now, I need to make sure there is enough paper before printing. I also have to begin packing all the things a few days prior because my brain cannot remember all the things. The dinning room table is now packing central...there shall be no meals at the table. Vacationing...I give MAJOR kudos to those who can drive at night or longer than 9 hours with children in ONE day. "You have all the strengths". Brushing my teeth...this will never be the same. Until my children move out I'm sure I will be talking through ...

The amount of things I have unfinished at the moment is unreal. I don't usually let things get this out of hand (or what I think is out of hand) ...but April/May happened and I haven't been able to catch up. Or is that my reality?!?! Am I really as organized as I'd like to think?!?! My desk would say otherwise. Sometimes, as I walk through my house, all I can see are the reminders of all the unfinished projects and loose ends.  Does your mind ever wander into mindless banter? And then as you begin to start your day accomplishing Mount "whatever" you trail from project to project and child's need back to project, accomplishing maybe only one thing?!?! I mean as I sit here trying to type out my thoughts I am couponing, reading a devotional, looking at my calendar because I never got back to that person about that date, birthday shopping, making breakfast, and my to-do list for today. I am distracted... I walk from room to room and these are just some of th...

 I'm not sure if it is because of my lackadaisical ways through the summer - but man it seems like this summer is eating a whole through our path of normal order and structure.  At the beginning of every summer I always am so relieved to have a free schedule. I feel like Julia Andrews in the Swiss Alps.   My regular mode of planning every event is thrown out the window. As we move through the summer days we seem to leave a wake of forgetfulness and that feeling of perpetual "no responsibility."  It's like I think we are on a really long vacation. I'm good with it, really, but clearly I am not a responsible adult when structure isn't a top priority. Also, I'm convinced the pool has an under-layer of THINGS that have collected...like a whole underworld litered with pretzels, water bottles, clothes, and all the torpedos you could ever dream to dive for...like a scene from Ninja Turtles...you could totally survice if you needed. You might be in "su...

I've been a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) for the better part of 8 years. For the sole reason to take care of my babies. To create in them a firm foundation. To be a constant for them.  To be able to serve other mommies while having my own babies. And man have I loved it.  I am a people person and yet a homebody.  I have thoroughly enjoyed having little ones in the house. My wonderful husband has worked so hard to provide for us so that I can stay home. God has provided so abundantly, and for that I am so thankful. When I was growing up I always imagined my dream job being a SAHM, but when I imagined it, the kids were always little babies! They were never older than 4 - in my dreams. And guess what...they grow up! And so do I. My youngest turns 4 in a few weeks. I have decided to go back to work. It is not full-time - in fact it’s super convenient for me - but yet it’s still time. This community is one such that I am blessed to be a part. I am truly excited to begin. But ...

My kids eat pretty well at home - I mean if the stars align, there is a possibility that everyone will remain in their chairs and that gravity won't work against them, finding their bottoms on the floor once again. Or the reminders to "Take another bite" will be minuscule...but all in all, they eat and they sit at the table and they come back to do this about 5 times a day. So naturally I think "I just don't feel like cleaning up another mess today," or "I'm tired of packing 4 lunches...let's go out" But eating out with these fine humans is a whole other ballgame...a game I enter with prayers that THIS time we enter into this restaurant will end differently than the time before... and ALMOST every single time I am reminded that I was wrong. I am fully reminded of why we don't take our three out to eat unless the whole dining experience can take less than 45 minutes from sitting to standing. It's like dipping your toe in i...

Normal is relative... Regular - to an extent - is relative... Without context most circumstances are relative. Before kids I was busy and tired. After kids I'm busy and tired. I don't think either was more or less tiring, it was just different times of my life and different energy was needed for what I was accomplishing for the day. This can be said for my time with Jesus. I have always wanted to spend time with him.  But my time availability is all relative.  And excuses can be made for each time of my life for not meeting with Him enough...but in reality, it's what I had energy for...and I think as long as you are pursuing Him, it is enough.  It is not a measured work of actions how much time you spend with Him.  Each person is different and each relationship with Jesus is unique.  Not everyone comes to him in the same way.  And I have not been able to always continue my routines whether they required more or less time. Change has been inevitable. ...

I'm not sure that it was ever in our complete plans to have babies so close in age.  The weekend before we found out we were pregnant with our third, we were watching a t.v. series that involved a lot of young children running around and we turned to each other and said, "HA! WE will NEVER have 3 children 3 and under!"... Well, the next weekend we would be eating our words...our daughter would soon have her 1st birthday and our oldest had not even turned 2 yet!  AHHHHH! I mean I "knew" it would be exhausting because of course EVERYONE tells you, "Oh you are gonna have your hands full!" but...whatever! It's no secret I always envisioned myself a mother of young children.  But I don't think ANYTHING prepared me for; the cloudiness of thought process, the moments of shear terror, the never-seeming to end sleepless nights, the always making your best guess as to why they are upset - which is brain numbing - the frequent in the moment discipline ...

The turmoil a parent feels on any "first" that happens to their child is understandable...at least from my perspective. Your heart aches for them to stay little...for them to stay in the safety of your arms and your ever loving embrace...for them to never be jaded by the things of the world...for them to stay innocent in such a fast paced society...for them to just stay the way they are...for your role to stay the same and yet... your heart leaps for joy...at the thought of them making progress...that they won't be an enabled child...that with each step of independence the load for you is lightened by just a sliver of a hair...that THEY are excited to learn something new...at the face of accomplishment in your young one...and for your role to change a bit. My oldest just experienced another first.  This year he began first grade.  Which means it is the beginning of him spending more time away from me than with me for a long time.  Which I understand is part of...

Moms - or parents for that matter - should be given ear plugs at the hospital when the baby is born... not because babies or children are ALWAYS obnoxious...kids are great.  I LOVE kids.  I love being with other people's kids too. I love playing with them, encouraging them, and cuddling them...and the list goes on, and I think most people that know me, know those statements to be true, but to be completely honest... THE NOISE NEVER STOPS! At least not in this house.  Good noises, bad noises, sad, happy, angry noises...there is just a lot of it! And sometimes I am just DONE...D-O-N-E. done. Confession: I am a naptime NAZI.  I might be a little anxious about when the naptime phase is over for everyone, because I just need a moment from the noise.  I can remember when I was teaching and had no children of my own but came home and just needed silence...at least for awhile. I find myself completely overwhelmed by the sounds that they make.  ...

I don't know about you, but I find myself saying "NO"...a lot to my children. Why, in heaven's name, is this my first reaction? Control.  I think I've talked about this before.  For whatever reason I revert to needing to control my child.  I control out of fear.  Fear of them misbehaving, fear of them being hurt, fear of them hurting someone, fear of being singled out, fear, fear fear.  And I'm pretty sure my God does not operate out of fear.  So then, why should I?  I find myself repeating and negotiating over and over.  I do this so much that it seems the word "NO" has lost its meaning.  Others say it, and it means so much more.  I want my children to respond when I say no, whether it is because I am not feeling what is happening or for safety concerns.  Whatever the reason I want them to respond appropriately So how does that happen? A few months ago I said I was going to focus more on giving the children responsib...

So, moms...I have such a deep appreciation for moms now.  If I had only realized how much of Jesus my mother tried to instill in me at the time, maybe I would have been more appreciative in my younger years.  A friend of mine leads a women's prayer group once a month.  It has provided me with a chance to meet Jesus in a quiet intimate time, in the middle of the day, with minimal distractions - which for a lot of moms can be hard.  This week we were reading over the verse, John 20:19-23. 1 9  That Sunday evening [ a ] the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. 20  As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! 21  Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” 22  Then he breathed on them and said, “Receiv...

What person, in their right mind would buy a child, under the age of 6 SILLY PUTTY?!!?!?! My mother, that's who...oh wait she's a grandma, and does just about anything for me and my kids, so I guess she gets a pass (I really do love you mom).  BUT, if you are a mother of young ones..proceed with caution! If you have the time to sit and supervise the playing with silly putty, then by all means, buy it.  But, if you expect them to be able to keep track of it...nuh-uh...just don't. People...I lost all sense of being a human being the other day over silly putty...I went from nice, friendly Mommy: to crazy person that may or may not be an alien: You know why? Because, the havoc it ensues upon my house, I have endured before.  I remember...not fondly...trying everything to get silly putty out of the shorts pocket that my child "saved" it in....which somehow cannot be removed by any means possible BUT I assure you, can metastasize to any other piece of c...

I am not a food guru and certainly don't know EVERYTHING about nutrition with kids.  My kids have good days and bad days...just like me.  But my kids are pretty good at eating a variety of foods and trying new things.   Since I wrote about MY clean eating, I thought I would mention our method for our children. Tim and I are not picky eaters and try most things, aside from small aversions.  From what I have heard, we were not super picky when we were little.  I think some people are more sensitive to certain foods and it's important to listen to that.  If something doesn't sound good, don't eat it.  There are PLENTY of other clean foods to eat.  I think that is important for kids too; to know you respect their food aversions can go a long way when they are trying new foods, otherwise you can bet they are never going to try ANYTHING new.  Plus, my tastes have changed from when I was a child... except for the taste of wet bread or li...