The Mothership

I feel like we all have varying degrees of where we are in our walk with the Lord. Some of us have been following Him for years. some have been questioning Him for years. Some are boldly living a life committed to loving others well. Some are pressing into new giftings that he's so richly blessed us with. Some of us love to be good people. Some of us are looking for any opportunity to bring God's Kingdom. And some of us haven't taken the unknown step of having Him in your life. And some of us just don't even want to bother. But guess what...God still loves us.  No matter where we are in our walk, God still loves us. He is about connection and relationship. He is a Father with wide open arms no matter the cost or the energy or the effort. God loves the prodigal son/daughter feeling rejected by all the things they've "done wrong." God loves all those beaten down and told so many lies of their self-worth. God loves the child seeking and que...

It's all different...all of it. Every part of my life is different since children. I wouldn't say it's ALL for the worse or for the better, but it has all changed. Hiking...oh my goodness is my pack heavy...and we don't just have ONE pack but two now.  And we need to have enough granola bars just to make it a mile to the treeline. Also, all the edges are now cliffs. Packing...my packing list used to be 3 pages typed in columns (I love lists) and now, I need to make sure there is enough paper before printing. I also have to begin packing all the things a few days prior because my brain cannot remember all the things. The dinning room table is now packing central...there shall be no meals at the table. Vacationing...I give MAJOR kudos to those who can drive at night or longer than 9 hours with children in ONE day. "You have all the strengths". Brushing my teeth...this will never be the same. Until my children move out I'm sure I will be talking through ...

As the new year begins I have some things that I'm trying to change...I guess we'll call them resolutions.  Sure... I think resolutions in years past have given me a sense of things that I haven't accomplished or sustained.  They give me a false sense of identity.  I become fixated on what needs to be taken out of my life instead of what I should be pouring into my life.  When I focus on what Christ wants for me and my family, then I focus more on his image in me.  I was made in his image which means I have Him in me which means I can't be so bad...it means part of me is good. One of the things I am focusing on this year will be slowing down and taking the time to enjoy the kids...those HARD moments with the kids.  I realize how fortunate I am that Tim and I have made allowances for me to stay home.  And I really have loved my young kids...oh I have loved it so.  But as they get older and need more independence, I find myself having too many o...

I'm not sure I would have been happy with either outcome of this years election.  I've heard lots of comments like: " it's the lesser of two evils....we've had corrupt presidents in the past and lived through it...abortion shouldn't even be on the ballot... " and on and on the remarks for one side or the other go.  All the while each person trying to feel better about this situation.  All the while putting others down for not choosing their same side.  These past couple months I feel as if kind, intellectual conversation is on the demise and that corruption, money, and power seem to be at the forefront of everything.  And in the midst of all this awful talk, compassion is hard to find.  Wednesday, everything I was reading or hearing from friends put my heart through the ringer.  I didn't get much accomplished besides dinner made and cleaned up.  I wasn't just sad for the outcome, but for how people AFTER the outcome were treating each other. ...

What's your thing? My thing is kids...little ones fo sho...especially if they aren't my own. and... I can throw-down with the best of them for Meal Makers of America  (I mean not Iron Chef worthy, but I could hang with SOMEONE off the food-network, I'm sure) But what are you good at? What's your jam? What gives you joy? What's your thing? Because I'm sure if you think it's good, then it probably is... hopefully you feel compelled to share it with someone. God gives us great talents and a discernible heart to know what to do with those talents. It pleases God and honors Him to use our talents to the best of our abilities. If you are musically inclined, play for someone and add in a prayer. If you are the master of folding a fitted sheet...props to you...fold some laundry for someone ( if you decide this is your gift, see me ASAP ) If the feather duster is just and extension of your arm and you move it in wondrous ways...help a lady out...

Parenting lately has been a little rough.  I have a toddler, who is cuddly, independent, and stubborn, a daughter who can be helpful, and dramatic when she is hangry and tired, and a Kindergartner who is smart, knows it all, impulsive, and thoughtful.  These personalities make for interesting days, and that's not even mentioning my personality traits (which some would say are a little on the "feeling" side).  And in the midst of it all... God is there... he is watching me he is protecting me he is wooing me he is teaching me he is showing me whom to love he is using me he is loving my children he is saving me and thank goodness for all of those things.  With these things he is molding me and my children.  And there is so much comfort knowing that he sees me even at my worst. he is watching me to see how much mercy and grace I will give my children when they spill their "whatever" for the 4th time before 9 am.  He is also watching me to know h...

I sit here on Father's Day alone with the kids.  Even though I've already celebrated with all the Dad's closest to me, I won't see any today. And they still love me and I know it.  There are many a great men in my life, but there are three that have stood the test of time.  All three are strangely similar and yet differ in many ways.  This would be my Father, my Husband, and my Father-In-Law. These three are all similar in one wonderful way: they are all men of God.  Warriors for us and for our hearts.  Loving us in Truth unconditionally.  I realize today how blessed I am.  Each one of these men follows God with their utmost.  These men consider God before all things.  They exhibit some of the same wonderful characteristics as our heavenly Father.  Each one of these men has lead me to be closer to God in some way, and continue to do so. Above all the mistakes I have made or they have made, this is the most important part of them...

I've been convicted.  My heart needs a change.  At times, this mothering thing is more difficult than I would have ever thought.  I hate looking back on things and having regrets...and I indeed can think of many times when I have reacted in a way that brings me a feeling of regret.  None of them are some huge, tragic incident that deems this horrific display of parenting.  It's just the day-to-day simple life happenings - which shouldn't get me in such a tizzy - and yet I'm afraid that my children are going to remember me for these reactions instead of a graceful, patient, and merciful mom.  I can be better. I read a blog post on Momastery and she wrote about "Mompetition".  Moms performing and doing amazing things with their child, posting about it on Facebook, and her sarcastically saying that these moms are clearly doing all these things AT HER. Exercising...AT HER, cooking fabulous meals...AT HER...epic birthday parties...AT HER, breast/bottle f...

It's happened.  One more of a great generation has died.  My Julio. So precious to me.  So many people can affectionately call him "My Julio."  That's how awesome he was.  I feel especially sad because such a huge part of my youth is forever gone.  No more memories to be made with him.  But how fortunate I am to have as many memories as I do!  He was the true "American Dream."  And such a wonderful man for so many reasons that he left a legacy. Everything he did, he did with intensity and correctness. Julio was awesome because... he came from another country and became very successful...against all odds. found THE BEST wife God could have ever made for him. he would help just about anybody. he put 22 people through college. he kept me every weekend. he did the best "run under the swing". every time I saw him he told me how beautiful I was. he knew how to feed the geese and even call to them. he could summon a whole neighborh...

This was supposed to be a tribute for Mother's Day, but apparently I got a little busy.  I guess better late than never. Today is Mother's Day and I have truly been spoiled by my husband and children.  I find so many things for which I am thankful.  But the thing that is most overwhelming today is how I see the Lord made me with my Mother and Mother-In-Law in mind.   They each are wonderful examples of Faith and being servants.  Each serve others without complaint because it is truly their hearts desire to serve others, and that it pleases our God. Each have shaped MY faith in more ways than most people. Each give LOVE unconditionally, just as Jesus asks us to. Each of them love each of their children differently and embrace their strengths and lift-up their weaknesses. Each one of them shows wise submission to their husbands, and yet are some of the strongest, smartest, and most independent women I know. Each one prays without ...

I'm really good at comparing myself to others and then putting myself down and belittling my efforts.  It's really easy for me to get stressed about what others are doing with their kids and then feeling like I need to as well.  So I thought I'd make of list of comparisons as to what is REALLY important to me and what is not. Reading to my children is important;      getting my child to read before Kindergarten is not. Having enough is important;      having more than I know to do with is not. Playing with my children is important;      playing an organized game with many objectives for learning is not. Keeping in touch with people is important;      updating Facebook incessantly is not. Feeding my children is important (preferably healthy food);      feeding them homemade, everything from scratch, ALL THE TIME is not. Sleeping is important;      sleeping 8 hours is...

My church is a wonderful place.  There are so many different people in so many different places in their walks with God.  They focus on love and truth and right now, the Holy spirit is moving.  All the while, my children are witnessing and watching adults and children serve and love their Lord with great zeal, intensity, and yearning.  I am so proud of this!  I am so overwhelmed in the way God works through the hearts of all the volunteers and leaders and I only hope that my children continue to have seeds planted in their hearts.  This week the church is REALLY focusing on worship.  Worship is such a precious time for me.  I feel so close and so engaged with God.  I am always overwhelmed with the love that He shows me. I'm not sure why, but just the thought about His love being unconditional, no strings attached, just floors me. He wants me to want Him and I do...I so ever do.  I feel the closest to God when I am in deep worship....

What are these things, boundaries, that people speak of?  Sometimes the word seems so foreign and almost disrespectful when uttered.  However, boundaries can be so freeing and can help you take ownership of your life, thus making you happy.  I really enjoy helping and doing things for others.  I would classify myself as an Extrovert.  I enjoy being with people and doing new things.  Sometimes though, I let this get in the way of my close relationships.  My husband is an Introvert and is really good about drawing boundaries.  I, on the other hand, do not.  I think we are a good match though, because I push him to do things he may not otherwise, and he helps reign me in when I over-commit our schedule.  Over the years, Tim has helped me realize that boundaries are OK and good for us. It doesn't seem natural to me, but explanations of why we are not volunteering or attending a gathering is not needed.  When I apologize and explain why ...

Will they know... how my heart yearns for them after they have been away for only a night? that while they were sick I held them and still kissed them even though they smelled rancid? who tucked them in and kissed them goodnight while they slept? how much my heart hurts when they are hurting? how often I pray for them to have a heart for the Lord? how often I pray for patience to show them unconditional love? how much I want them to be caring and have a thankful heart? the planning that went into each of the crafts and lessons I toiled over? the arguments that I dropped because I knew it wasn't worth fighting over? the times we made cookies because it left them joyful and me full? how I held them while they were angry or sad? how many nights/days I spent holding them so their precious body didn't have to touch the floor, by choice? how protective I am of them? that I tried to create independence in them? how much control I had to let go of so that they could bec...

Luke's character qualities become ever more apparent as time flies by. It also becomes more apparent that we have the same qualities, good and bad:) Every morning before dropping Luke off at his preschool classroom, we go over what his behavior should vaguely look like for the day. It usually goes something like this: Me: "What are supposed to remember when you're away from Mommy?" Luke: "I need to make good choicesssss...listen to teachers...and not pinch my friends when we dance."  Me: "Ok, those are all good things to remember. Also, be kind with your body and words" Luke: "Ok mommy!  Have a good day!" Carolyn and I leave and do amazing things while he is away, you know like grocery shopping! When I return to the school to retrieve my son he almost always comes out of the room happy to see me and is yelling, "Hi Mommy!  I'm so glad to see you. I made good choices today!" Sometimes his teacher nods and agrees and other tim...