The Mothership

Here I am, beginning  in the land of the teenagers and loving it. These people are the ones I wanted and prayed for when I was in high school. I love littles, so this comes a a huge surprise to me. These are truly some of the sweetest and yet unnerving years in parenting yet. And I’ve only approached the edge.  Each parenting season is harder than others in their own unique ways and each season is easier than another. I would give ANYTHING for the slower pace we had when the kids were tiny. Watching them learn things for the first time - it’s so much more concrete than watching your teen figure out their hormones. At the same time, my kids all know how to tie their own shoes and can prepare themselves accordingly to leave the house at a specific time- varied obviously by emotions, but they can do it. The sleeping schedule from the season of littles is least desired and yet - I could use a nap and a cuddle midday myself. The rocking to sleep and the little games that k...

We have been cooped up for many a days now. I am tired of cooking. I am tired of all the directing of chaos. I am tired of being the good listener. I am tired...for many reasons. But mostly because I am spent. I've spent all the energy I have on the daily of pouring into my little brood.  I have come to terms with the idea of rest. Rest might be a figment of my imagination?!?!  This job will forever be exhausting. However, what if I changed my expectations? What if instead of saying, "That wasn't what I had hoped for...that wasn't what I expected," I look to what was there? What was in the midst of the moment enveloped in goodness? What was in the little efforts? What were the intentions? Expectations help us strive for more and reach for high goals. I see the value behind those benchmarks. Friends, expectations, though they start with good intentions, set limitations. Expectations can be humbling motivators, and I believe are at the driving point...

I feel like we all have varying degrees of where we are in our walk with the Lord. Some of us have been following Him for years. some have been questioning Him for years. Some are boldly living a life committed to loving others well. Some are pressing into new giftings that he's so richly blessed us with. Some of us love to be good people. Some of us are looking for any opportunity to bring God's Kingdom. And some of us haven't taken the unknown step of having Him in your life. And some of us just don't even want to bother. But guess what...God still loves us.  No matter where we are in our walk, God still loves us. He is about connection and relationship. He is a Father with wide open arms no matter the cost or the energy or the effort. God loves the prodigal son/daughter feeling rejected by all the things they've "done wrong." God loves all those beaten down and told so many lies of their self-worth. God loves the child seeking and que...

I've been a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) for the better part of 8 years. For the sole reason to take care of my babies. To create in them a firm foundation. To be a constant for them.  To be able to serve other mommies while having my own babies. And man have I loved it.  I am a people person and yet a homebody.  I have thoroughly enjoyed having little ones in the house. My wonderful husband has worked so hard to provide for us so that I can stay home. God has provided so abundantly, and for that I am so thankful. When I was growing up I always imagined my dream job being a SAHM, but when I imagined it, the kids were always little babies! They were never older than 4 - in my dreams. And guess what...they grow up! And so do I. My youngest turns 4 in a few weeks. I have decided to go back to work. It is not full-time - in fact it’s super convenient for me - but yet it’s still time. This community is one such that I am blessed to be a part. I am truly excited to begin. But ...

I'm not sure that it was ever in our complete plans to have babies so close in age.  The weekend before we found out we were pregnant with our third, we were watching a t.v. series that involved a lot of young children running around and we turned to each other and said, "HA! WE will NEVER have 3 children 3 and under!"... Well, the next weekend we would be eating our words...our daughter would soon have her 1st birthday and our oldest had not even turned 2 yet!  AHHHHH! I mean I "knew" it would be exhausting because of course EVERYONE tells you, "Oh you are gonna have your hands full!" but...whatever! It's no secret I always envisioned myself a mother of young children.  But I don't think ANYTHING prepared me for; the cloudiness of thought process, the moments of shear terror, the never-seeming to end sleepless nights, the always making your best guess as to why they are upset - which is brain numbing - the frequent in the moment discipline ...

The turmoil a parent feels on any "first" that happens to their child is understandable...at least from my perspective. Your heart aches for them to stay little...for them to stay in the safety of your arms and your ever loving embrace...for them to never be jaded by the things of the world...for them to stay innocent in such a fast paced society...for them to just stay the way they are...for your role to stay the same and yet... your heart leaps for joy...at the thought of them making progress...that they won't be an enabled child...that with each step of independence the load for you is lightened by just a sliver of a hair...that THEY are excited to learn something new...at the face of accomplishment in your young one...and for your role to change a bit. My oldest just experienced another first.  This year he began first grade.  Which means it is the beginning of him spending more time away from me than with me for a long time.  Which I understand is part of...

Holidays can often leave a painful mark or reminder for those who had absent, hurtful, tumultuous relationships with loved ones that are either still lingering or were left undone without closure or mended hearts. Mother’s Day is a day when most are celebrated but there are some that are hurting. If this is you, maybe you have... feelings of abandonment... feelings of resentment... feelings of wanting... feelings of complacency... feelings of blah... feelings of loss... feelings of fear... feelings of anxiety... feelings of the not yet... Lots of feelings. I want to say to you... You are seen. You are loved. You are cherished. Jesus sees you and loves you more than any mother could love. In church one morning, I noticed people...some joyful, some sad, some hurt, some happy, some mundane and unnoticed. God hits me with, “These are my kids and they need to be mothered too.” Whether you have/had a great relationship with your mom or not, there are lots of people that need moth...