The Mothership

Most recently a dear friend of ours passed away. She was such a light.  From a young age, Jan and Tim both took an interest in me.  Not just me though.  They saw value in all of the youth.  They encouraged us, told us hard truths, stayed up late to keep us honest on trips, and always provided a welcoming smile and face when our paths would cross again. She is a bright light that will surely be missed.  What a legacy of a servanthood, encouragement, support, and example of what a faith filled person emanates. Today she will be laid to rest and I will surely see others that ALSO served valiantly in our youth ministry. And to them I am ever thankful. Here are some words from Jan and Tim as they shared how important the youth program was for them. I was part of a youth program at Westwood United Methodist Church that I am for certain helped support me and guide me through my high school and college years. It gave me a community when I didn't find one at my school....

To my friend whose life has changed since Thanksgiving...hearing your voice speak THAT word... such an ugly word; chemo...cancer. And they both mean the same thing essentially...poison in the body. And yet, might I say, you are NOT changed for the worst. This disease is only that, a disease.  You have NOT let it define you! I will never know a day in your shoes, and nor will I ever pretend to know what your mind, heart, and body have been through. But there are some things you have taught me these past 7 months. You have taught me... there is absolutely NO excuse to not getting my laundry folded...not even the fitted sheets. my excuses for NOT exercising carry no weight...they are just empty words. what humility looks like...accepting and receiving help is not easy - at least I know not for you and me. how smart and clever you are. I knew it before, but the amount of information you keep in your head - even after children and chemo - is astounding. that children are const...

Hurt is all over the place. We see it in the everyday... ...in the parent-less child ...in the destruction of marriage ...in the tearing down of people ...in the the drug epidemic that plagues your neighborhood ...in the mentally sick ...in the weapons that are used in the face of fear ...in allllllll the sickness and amidst it all, there is goodness.  Goodness for God's redemption story. It's all about perspective...it's all about how you handle "the news". Sure there are loads of opportunity to be depressed, and down and feel as if you are never making it out. But what is that doing for you?  Is that forward progress? NO! When bad news comes it would be unrealistic to be happy when you should be sad.  But Jesus, Jesus is the defining line to sad and depressed...he is what pulls me out from the depths...he is what changes my perspective and shows me that he has SHOWN UP in the terror of the bad news. Jesus is there.  Among the worry, among the hopele...

Every person needs to have at least one LOYAL friend.  Loyal friends are hard to find. The definition of the word loyal: faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity deserving promises ... In order to have a loyal friend they have to think that YOU deserve promises and holding up to those promises.  I have been friends with Tori for 21 years!  I would say that is some loyalty right there.   Today is Tori's birthday...and even though she would appreciate NO accolades, I will be giving them because I can do that...embarrass her...21 years of friendship means I can do that. Cheers to Tori! She is: strong - both physically and emotionally.  She pushes me to "snap out of it" quite frequently, and I have seen her in a boot-camp class.  She could take you down like a ninja. real - the girl will tell you from the get-go if something is jiving or not with her...and she doesn't ev...

I hate canceling on people - I really dislike the word hate, but it is appropriately used here. When I cancel on someone I feel as if I have let them down. I want people to be able to count on me or at least feel like I am reliable. And I would say, that yes, in most things I am reliable.  I'm fairly certain I have these feelings because growing up, if we said we were going to do something, we followed through and did it well.  That's just what we did.  No quitting.  No regrets. You always showed up; rain or snow, we walked to church.  Busy or not, we showed up.  I am so thankful for those lessons, because I feel like it has given me opportunities to meet Jesus by serving and being there for others. However, sometimes I over-do it.  Sometimes I want to be there for everything and I just physically can't.  And my kiddos physically can't either. And I'm not sure it is my best self forward...or my kiddos best self forward.   I suffer fr...

I was gardening in my flower bed the other day planting a new flower.  As I was digging, I ran into a root from an old bush that I pulled out and relocated to a different spot when Luke was a toddler.  I remember so fondly his little hands helping me pull and pull so hard to bring the bush out from under the soil that we both fell backward and just laughed (that's right, just like a Hallmark movie) .  I can hear in my mind his little "umph"...and "woah!" that his little voice made.  I'm so thankful for that memory because it speaks right to Luke's nature of serving and helping even at a young age and it's just a great memory for me as a young mommy. I'm also thankful that I had a bush to pull out. It meant we had a yard to maintain and it needed no attention for the first few years. But pulling it out and relocating it meant there was room for something new to grow.  I wasn't getting rid of the bush, I was simply putting it in a ...

 I have a friend...whose birthday is today. She is one of the sweetest people God has put in my path. Everything she does, is intentional. The first memory I have of her is meeting her at church and her, at the time, two small boys were climbing the stairs...and she was managing them lovingly and yet she tells me she is a Small Group leader! In my mind I thought, " How in the world does she have time to be a LEADER of anything. " This was only a small glimpse of the heights that she and Grant reach to achieve. The next thing I knew she was inviting me in to her life ( sharing being pregnant with Ryan at only 7 weeks and showing me her pooch ), telling me she had dreams about me in the middle of the church hallways ( which might have involved me being a call-girl 😏), us sharing in our many intimate stories and needs for birth control... I'll leave it at that ...and from there it has exploded.  There are so many stories now, but I want to mention a few attributes of Sara...

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt I feel as if I live a fairly joyous life. Yeah. I would say I am generally happy. I have beautiful kids, my husband and I have fun together and walk in relationship with Jesus...and many other blessings. I am a fairly positive person moving through life...and yet the enemy can still attack...not often, but he does it just enough.  And it is usually when I have realized a different piece in my calling.   He attacks me in my identity and tries to plant lies. He tries to strangle those seeds that God has planted and that are growing and squish the life from them.  The way he does this to me is mostly through comparison. He whispers: they are more fun than you they are nicer than you they are a better mom than you you are not looking like a Christian that person doesn't like you because you're not ... they are better at everything than you you are not enough And on and on it goes until I put a stop to it beca...

I am so blessed to be walking alongside so many Christian friends for so long and have grown close to even more.  I was blessed to have a great high school youth group.  Not only did I see these friends on Sundays, but we did life together and these were my friends I chose to see in my free time.  We went on mission trips together, did many outreaches, and we did the messy high school friendship stuff...and you know what?  Amazingly...we are still close, years and years later.  Our youth group laid a foundation for us. Life happens and we don't see each other as much as we'd like.  But we try to make it a priority.  And even though we may not all attend the same church, we connect.  We text -thank GOD for texting - from time to time, somehow picking up the conversation in the same place we did a month ago...with quick updates.  Speed texting has become a sport.  KEEP UP!  One of the key things we keep up on is our spirituality...

Friends are so important to me.  They provide me with the ability to see things clearly.  They love and support me, yada, yada, yada.  I could continue but I think everyone, in a different season of their life, has different aspects that are important to them in a friendship. I know the characteristics I valued as a teenager are most definitely NOT the same as they are now.  I have learned through a lot of friendships, or what I thought were friendships, hard truths of what I value in a friend.  But isn't that one of the points of high school...learning who you are and what you value?  I feel like I've only REALLY been able to reflect on this recently.  I wish I could go back in time and save myself a lot of emotional torment and grief.  However, I think all the emotional hurt was vital to my growth and understanding what I wanted in a friend. In this season of my life, I just don't have a lot of time.  My time is separated and do...

To my friend at the play date.... ...I am so sorry that I never get a chance to be fully present.  We used to be able to talk about everything, each taking our own turn at giving advice and taking it.  Now, our lives are different with these beautiful little ones consuming each and every happy and sad moment.  But within each moment are small moments that can still be filled... ....please don't stop telling me your stories.  Funny, sad, embarrassing, I want to hear it!  Even though we have been interrupted for the uptenth time, I REALLY want to hear it.  One thing that makes me so sad after a play date is how many stories I realized were just left hanging and I didn't get each important tidbit.  So please, don't stop telling the story because I REALLY want to hear it.  I want to know what is going on with you. ...I apologize for texting you one million questions right after seeing you.  But yet again, those little gems interrupted us wi...

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13 NIV)" I have a blessed life. I can't count the blessings God has given me because they are so numerous. How magnificent He is to me and my walk with Him. He has planted so many seeds for me; all of which are carefully planned and used to draw closer to Him.  As I sit and ponder all the wonderful things God has given me over the years, one thing that stands out more than most is this: my TRUE friendships. These are friendships that  ...stand the test of time ...repair themselves ...are real; no fakeness ...beyond emotional for me to talk about ...are each some kind of reflection of my relationship with Jesus ...are important These are my People Seeds. God knows how I work and what motivates me; people and emotions. Since having kids it seems my time is limited and my memory as well. Which makes my time even more valuable than before. Over the past year, God has really shown me my true...