The Mothership

In church we have been going through a series titled "Emotional by Design." Knowing I am emotional is not a mystery to most of you. However, if for some reason this is the first time you've stumbled upon my writings, this is something that is integral to the understanding of my mind.  Writing about how emotional I am, or why it is a good thing and not a bad thing or how God has wired me, is not for this post. But, I did want to give you backstory of where something came to mind. During one of the services my pastor was discussing healthy emotions and unhealthy emotions. I went back to thinking of a time when my emotions, thoughts, and every part of my being were unhealthy. My heart immediately rushed out to the years of my adolescence. The actual feelings of loneliness, depression, comparison, and insecurity flooded my body with physical reactions. Isn't that amazing that the memory of a feeling has the ability to bring you back in to a crippling state of anxiety and ...

Parenting lately has been a little rough.  I have a toddler, who is cuddly, independent, and stubborn, a daughter who can be helpful, and dramatic when she is hangry and tired, and a Kindergartner who is smart, knows it all, impulsive, and thoughtful.  These personalities make for interesting days, and that's not even mentioning my personality traits (which some would say are a little on the "feeling" side).  And in the midst of it all... God is there... he is watching me he is protecting me he is wooing me he is teaching me he is showing me whom to love he is using me he is loving my children he is saving me and thank goodness for all of those things.  With these things he is molding me and my children.  And there is so much comfort knowing that he sees me even at my worst. he is watching me to see how much mercy and grace I will give my children when they spill their "whatever" for the 4th time before 9 am.  He is also watching me to know h...

My church is a wonderful place.  There are so many different people in so many different places in their walks with God.  They focus on love and truth and right now, the Holy spirit is moving.  All the while, my children are witnessing and watching adults and children serve and love their Lord with great zeal, intensity, and yearning.  I am so proud of this!  I am so overwhelmed in the way God works through the hearts of all the volunteers and leaders and I only hope that my children continue to have seeds planted in their hearts.  This week the church is REALLY focusing on worship.  Worship is such a precious time for me.  I feel so close and so engaged with God.  I am always overwhelmed with the love that He shows me. I'm not sure why, but just the thought about His love being unconditional, no strings attached, just floors me. He wants me to want Him and I do...I so ever do.  I feel the closest to God when I am in deep worship....