The Mothership

She sits gazing...gazing at what I am not sure. I am blinded by the light emitting from around the outline of her silhouette.  She is bathed in a radiant glow that also gives off an aroma.  I step closer to realize the woman is scented in a fine perfume. She is not concerned of others. Nor the details of her physique.  But she has her eyes on one thing... The light that emits from her is because of her faith...it has saved her. She is peace. She is radiant. She exudes joy, wonder, and forgiveness. She is the presence of peace because she has made His heart her home. I see all of this, taking in each detail without even seeing the details. Details of the heart are not something one can see at first glance. But as you study them they become the dominant features. Her spirit is so in tune with God's because her spirit is God's. She shows abundant love because she has been forgiven much. Her hands hold an alabaster jar. All of her senses pointedly looking and activating to th...

I feel like we all have varying degrees of where we are in our walk with the Lord. Some of us have been following Him for years. some have been questioning Him for years. Some are boldly living a life committed to loving others well. Some are pressing into new giftings that he's so richly blessed us with. Some of us love to be good people. Some of us are looking for any opportunity to bring God's Kingdom. And some of us haven't taken the unknown step of having Him in your life. And some of us just don't even want to bother. But guess what...God still loves us.  No matter where we are in our walk, God still loves us. He is about connection and relationship. He is a Father with wide open arms no matter the cost or the energy or the effort. God loves the prodigal son/daughter feeling rejected by all the things they've "done wrong." God loves all those beaten down and told so many lies of their self-worth. God loves the child seeking and que...

My heart hurts. It hurts for those who have to feel the loss of a loved one. For those who deal with pain, physically and mentally, on a daily basis. It hurts for those that don’t feel loved. And it hurts for those that feel they have to hurt others. I have been trying to formulate words about the violence in our world. I feel with every fiber of my heart what I’m sure is only a spec of the pain that God feels when we hurt. During worship one evening I feel like he encouraged me with this. I hope this encourages you. A girl runs effortlessly through a field in the midst of a valley. She runs with abandoned insecurities. She twirls as if there is nothing to loose. Some days she runs and some days she walks through the valley taking in all the details. It’s a familiar place. And all she can see is beauty before her. Joy spread across her cheeks. Joyful because she knows the love and the protection that lies within. She KNOWS his voice. It is written on her heart, in her mind, and s...

It's how it all starts... A conversation...with the eyes. Someone walks past me and I smile, and most of the time I look them straight in the eye.  Other times, I smile and look alllllll the other ways. Eye contact is an art of timing and longevity...too short and people think you are too busy, or snobby...too long and people get the impression you are a creeper. Most that know me now would say that I'm fairly outgoing, talkative, and friendly. However, as a child I was not.  I was friendly and talkative ONCE you got to know me and even then I probably needed someone secure around. I would want to talk to people and have loads to say, but not the conviction or the confidence to do so. Even now as adults, when my husband and I enter new rooms of people we don't know, I am the shy one. Which is so puzzling to people. My desire to talk to people completely depends on the day. Some days I feel filled with the Lord's confidence and speak to almost every stranger at th...

Hurt is all over the place. We see it in the everyday... ...in the parent-less child ...in the destruction of marriage ...in the tearing down of people ...in the the drug epidemic that plagues your neighborhood ...in the mentally sick ...in the weapons that are used in the face of fear ...in allllllll the sickness and amidst it all, there is goodness.  Goodness for God's redemption story. It's all about perspective...it's all about how you handle "the news". Sure there are loads of opportunity to be depressed, and down and feel as if you are never making it out. But what is that doing for you?  Is that forward progress? NO! When bad news comes it would be unrealistic to be happy when you should be sad.  But Jesus, Jesus is the defining line to sad and depressed...he is what pulls me out from the depths...he is what changes my perspective and shows me that he has SHOWN UP in the terror of the bad news. Jesus is there.  Among the worry, among the hopele...

Every person needs to have at least one LOYAL friend.  Loyal friends are hard to find. The definition of the word loyal: faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity deserving promises ... In order to have a loyal friend they have to think that YOU deserve promises and holding up to those promises.  I have been friends with Tori for 21 years!  I would say that is some loyalty right there.   Today is Tori's birthday...and even though she would appreciate NO accolades, I will be giving them because I can do that...embarrass her...21 years of friendship means I can do that. Cheers to Tori! She is: strong - both physically and emotionally.  She pushes me to "snap out of it" quite frequently, and I have seen her in a boot-camp class.  She could take you down like a ninja. real - the girl will tell you from the get-go if something is jiving or not with her...and she doesn't ev...

I was gardening in my flower bed the other day planting a new flower.  As I was digging, I ran into a root from an old bush that I pulled out and relocated to a different spot when Luke was a toddler.  I remember so fondly his little hands helping me pull and pull so hard to bring the bush out from under the soil that we both fell backward and just laughed (that's right, just like a Hallmark movie) .  I can hear in my mind his little "umph"...and "woah!" that his little voice made.  I'm so thankful for that memory because it speaks right to Luke's nature of serving and helping even at a young age and it's just a great memory for me as a young mommy. I'm also thankful that I had a bush to pull out. It meant we had a yard to maintain and it needed no attention for the first few years. But pulling it out and relocating it meant there was room for something new to grow.  I wasn't getting rid of the bush, I was simply putting it in a ...

 I have a friend...whose birthday is today. She is one of the sweetest people God has put in my path. Everything she does, is intentional. The first memory I have of her is meeting her at church and her, at the time, two small boys were climbing the stairs...and she was managing them lovingly and yet she tells me she is a Small Group leader! In my mind I thought, " How in the world does she have time to be a LEADER of anything. " This was only a small glimpse of the heights that she and Grant reach to achieve. The next thing I knew she was inviting me in to her life ( sharing being pregnant with Ryan at only 7 weeks and showing me her pooch ), telling me she had dreams about me in the middle of the church hallways ( which might have involved me being a call-girl 😏), us sharing in our many intimate stories and needs for birth control... I'll leave it at that ...and from there it has exploded.  There are so many stories now, but I want to mention a few attributes of Sara...

I don't know about you, but I find myself saying "NO"...a lot to my children. Why, in heaven's name, is this my first reaction? Control.  I think I've talked about this before.  For whatever reason I revert to needing to control my child.  I control out of fear.  Fear of them misbehaving, fear of them being hurt, fear of them hurting someone, fear of being singled out, fear, fear fear.  And I'm pretty sure my God does not operate out of fear.  So then, why should I?  I find myself repeating and negotiating over and over.  I do this so much that it seems the word "NO" has lost its meaning.  Others say it, and it means so much more.  I want my children to respond when I say no, whether it is because I am not feeling what is happening or for safety concerns.  Whatever the reason I want them to respond appropriately So how does that happen? A few months ago I said I was going to focus more on giving the children responsib...

I am so blessed to be walking alongside so many Christian friends for so long and have grown close to even more.  I was blessed to have a great high school youth group.  Not only did I see these friends on Sundays, but we did life together and these were my friends I chose to see in my free time.  We went on mission trips together, did many outreaches, and we did the messy high school friendship stuff...and you know what?  Amazingly...we are still close, years and years later.  Our youth group laid a foundation for us. Life happens and we don't see each other as much as we'd like.  But we try to make it a priority.  And even though we may not all attend the same church, we connect.  We text -thank GOD for texting - from time to time, somehow picking up the conversation in the same place we did a month ago...with quick updates.  Speed texting has become a sport.  KEEP UP!  One of the key things we keep up on is our spirituality...

So, moms...I have such a deep appreciation for moms now.  If I had only realized how much of Jesus my mother tried to instill in me at the time, maybe I would have been more appreciative in my younger years.  A friend of mine leads a women's prayer group once a month.  It has provided me with a chance to meet Jesus in a quiet intimate time, in the middle of the day, with minimal distractions - which for a lot of moms can be hard.  This week we were reading over the verse, John 20:19-23. 1 9  That Sunday evening [ a ] the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. 20  As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! 21  Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” 22  Then he breathed on them and said, “Receiv...

I'm not sure I would have been happy with either outcome of this years election.  I've heard lots of comments like: " it's the lesser of two evils....we've had corrupt presidents in the past and lived through it...abortion shouldn't even be on the ballot... " and on and on the remarks for one side or the other go.  All the while each person trying to feel better about this situation.  All the while putting others down for not choosing their same side.  These past couple months I feel as if kind, intellectual conversation is on the demise and that corruption, money, and power seem to be at the forefront of everything.  And in the midst of all this awful talk, compassion is hard to find.  Wednesday, everything I was reading or hearing from friends put my heart through the ringer.  I didn't get much accomplished besides dinner made and cleaned up.  I wasn't just sad for the outcome, but for how people AFTER the outcome were treating each other. ...

What's your thing? My thing is kids...little ones fo sho...especially if they aren't my own. and... I can throw-down with the best of them for Meal Makers of America  (I mean not Iron Chef worthy, but I could hang with SOMEONE off the food-network, I'm sure) But what are you good at? What's your jam? What gives you joy? What's your thing? Because I'm sure if you think it's good, then it probably is... hopefully you feel compelled to share it with someone. God gives us great talents and a discernible heart to know what to do with those talents. It pleases God and honors Him to use our talents to the best of our abilities. If you are musically inclined, play for someone and add in a prayer. If you are the master of folding a fitted sheet...props to you...fold some laundry for someone ( if you decide this is your gift, see me ASAP ) If the feather duster is just and extension of your arm and you move it in wondrous ways...help a lady out...

Parenting lately has been a little rough.  I have a toddler, who is cuddly, independent, and stubborn, a daughter who can be helpful, and dramatic when she is hangry and tired, and a Kindergartner who is smart, knows it all, impulsive, and thoughtful.  These personalities make for interesting days, and that's not even mentioning my personality traits (which some would say are a little on the "feeling" side).  And in the midst of it all... God is there... he is watching me he is protecting me he is wooing me he is teaching me he is showing me whom to love he is using me he is loving my children he is saving me and thank goodness for all of those things.  With these things he is molding me and my children.  And there is so much comfort knowing that he sees me even at my worst. he is watching me to see how much mercy and grace I will give my children when they spill their "whatever" for the 4th time before 9 am.  He is also watching me to know h...