The Mothership

I walk in to the kitchen and find myself in the middle of a conversation between Tim and Carolyn. Even though the boys are loud, and honestly myself too, Tim and Carolyn seem to be having a very intimate conversation before school. As I'm running through all the tasks at hand that need to be accomplished before they each walk out the door, Tim finds the space between the minutes to make them count. The boys are jabbering on and on about bodily functions and nonsense words whilst tying shoes. Meanwhile Tim and Carolyn could be in their own booth at a cute diner fully engrossed in their discussion. I'm fortunate enough that this is not the first time this scene has played. He loves talking with her...with all the kids. His time is limited and his words are few. But something the kids and I have no doubt about is that most words he speaks are weighed. Tim doesn't say much without first thinking it over. Here is what I hear between the chaos: T: Do you know how much I love your...

I still have a lot to learn about love.  I've put in a lot of years with the same man - 19 to be exact - and yet, we still learn new things everyday.  We are not the same couple from high school ( definitely not in appearance ) nor the same from the first year of our marriage.  Some things haven't changed: we still have loads of fun, we still bicker, we are still each others best friends, we are both pursuing the Lord, he is still faster than me ( some things you just learn to embrace ).  But other things are different: we communicate better, we build each other up, we drop the small things, we prioritize for each other, we are better lovers, we have better boundaries to keep our relationship a top priority, we are teammates, and the BEST one is we are better at respecting each other.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times we have thrown each other under the bus.  There are times when we are arguing in front of others and neither one of us is bei...

What are these things, boundaries, that people speak of?  Sometimes the word seems so foreign and almost disrespectful when uttered.  However, boundaries can be so freeing and can help you take ownership of your life, thus making you happy.  I really enjoy helping and doing things for others.  I would classify myself as an Extrovert.  I enjoy being with people and doing new things.  Sometimes though, I let this get in the way of my close relationships.  My husband is an Introvert and is really good about drawing boundaries.  I, on the other hand, do not.  I think we are a good match though, because I push him to do things he may not otherwise, and he helps reign me in when I over-commit our schedule.  Over the years, Tim has helped me realize that boundaries are OK and good for us. It doesn't seem natural to me, but explanations of why we are not volunteering or attending a gathering is not needed.  When I apologize and explain why ...