The Mothership

A lot of people ask for this recipe so I thought I would add it here... *remember, everything is approximate *you really need to have ripe avocados, slightly firm and slightly smushy *if you don't have enough after you have mixed everything, you can always add sour cream to make it go farther. Ingredients: 4 avocados 1/4 medium red onion, chopped 1 Tablespoon or more of diced jalapenos 1/2 bunch of cilantro, chopped 3 cloves of garlic, minced  1 tablespoon lime juice 1 teaspoon or more of salt chips Cut and open the avocados.  Add everything to a bowl, except chips, and mush together with your hands.  EVERYTHING should be added to your liking.

This woman and I have parted ways before…   The first time she was gone for a week at camp.   When she left for college.   When she moved out of our apartment and married her husband (how dare she).   When I moved to New Jersey   the countless vacations she dare to take without me.  Each time I am sad. I deal with my sadness in many ways but more than likely my sadness moves with tears. Tears as I sit and think about the countless ways she has supported me most recently and pretty much all my life. Tears of the fun adventures we have been on and now take our families along too. Tears of the times I dared be upset with her. Tears of how she is ALWAYS putting other people before herself. I can’t even remember the last time she said, “no! That’s a bad idea.” to me because she is always along for the shenanigans.  She is just lovely.    She is leaving me again. And the tears are rolling. They have been rolling for weeks. It stings a lit...

So many people have said so many words. Some words are worthy to stand behind and others not so much. I am not here to debate but simply to pour out my words that I’ve been chewing.  My husband and I sat and watched the beginning of a series called “1968” and for a moment my heart was heavy. I thought, “this was so long ago and yet the same issues.” I think, through years and years of blood sweat and tears, there have been advances and more and more people are “woke,” to civil injustice than before. But the fact of the matter is, there is still an enemy at large. Still an enemy to fight and battle every single day. Everyone’s battle looks different. And just when it seems we have an upper hand on it, that same enemy shows his face again and again. Not just in violence but in fear, sickness, anxiety, depression, division, and on and on.  And you know what? The ONLY thing keeping that enemy from winning my battle is HOPE. The only thing that can truly and completely drive out th...

Many of my recipes involve a good amount of garlic and onion. Well I am experimenting with a special diet for one of my lovelies and the diet excludes or strongly suggests to omit garlic and onion. I use those ingredients in just about every one of my recipes. My grandmother made a phenomenal Fish Soup; a recipe passed down to my mother as well. I love the thought of family recipes, and feel a bit guilty at the thought of changing them. But I am making adjustments as I see fit, to suit the needs of my family. So here is a version of my grandmother's fish soup. *just as with any soup I always taste before serving. Sometime I need extra salt and sometimes I don’t. We do not overly salt our foods so you may need extra.  Ingredients: 5 whole carrots, peeled and sliced into rounds 4 stalks of celery, sliced and chopped cooking oil (I used avocado oil) Salt pepper 1 tsp. Cumin 1&1/2 tsp. Ginger 2 lbs. Tilapia 1/2 tsp. thyme 1 cup cut, uncooked, Green beans 1/2 sweet re...

 I have a friend...whose birthday is today. She is one of the sweetest people God has put in my path. Everything she does, is intentional. The first memory I have of her is meeting her at church and her, at the time, two small boys were climbing the stairs...and she was managing them lovingly and yet she tells me she is a Small Group leader! In my mind I thought, " How in the world does she have time to be a LEADER of anything. " This was only a small glimpse of the heights that she and Grant reach to achieve. The next thing I knew she was inviting me in to her life ( sharing being pregnant with Ryan at only 7 weeks and showing me her pooch ), telling me she had dreams about me in the middle of the church hallways ( which might have involved me being a call-girl 😏), us sharing in our many intimate stories and needs for birth control... I'll leave it at that ...and from there it has exploded.  There are so many stories now, but I want to mention a few attributes of Sara...

So, moms...I have such a deep appreciation for moms now.  If I had only realized how much of Jesus my mother tried to instill in me at the time, maybe I would have been more appreciative in my younger years.  A friend of mine leads a women's prayer group once a month.  It has provided me with a chance to meet Jesus in a quiet intimate time, in the middle of the day, with minimal distractions - which for a lot of moms can be hard.  This week we were reading over the verse, John 20:19-23. 1 9  That Sunday evening [ a ] the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. 20  As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! 21  Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” 22  Then he breathed on them and said, “Receiv...

Good night sweet heart, well it's time to go... Good night sweet heart, well it's time to go... I hate to leave you, I really must say, Oh, good night sweetheart, goodnight. Sad emoji face... Such sweet words... I sang this to all my sweet babies after they would fall asleep from a nightly feeding.  Oh how I enjoyed those feedings.  Maybe not the waking up part.  But most definitely the snuggling, and inhaling the sweet smell of that baby. I believe that this time has come to an end... I have been blessed with three beautiful babes and am so thankful for all their different characters and personalities.  But, I always, obviously not realistically, envisioned myself as a Mother of young children. so this is hard, people... We recently switched the nursery, that I so carefully planned, into my 4 yr old daughter's bedroom.  No more nursery.  I always knew that the end of my baby making years would be rough, but I did not expect to be...

Parenting lately has been a little rough.  I have a toddler, who is cuddly, independent, and stubborn, a daughter who can be helpful, and dramatic when she is hangry and tired, and a Kindergartner who is smart, knows it all, impulsive, and thoughtful.  These personalities make for interesting days, and that's not even mentioning my personality traits (which some would say are a little on the "feeling" side).  And in the midst of it all... God is there... he is watching me he is protecting me he is wooing me he is teaching me he is showing me whom to love he is using me he is loving my children he is saving me and thank goodness for all of those things.  With these things he is molding me and my children.  And there is so much comfort knowing that he sees me even at my worst. he is watching me to see how much mercy and grace I will give my children when they spill their "whatever" for the 4th time before 9 am.  He is also watching me to know h...

It's happened.  One more of a great generation has died.  My Julio. So precious to me.  So many people can affectionately call him "My Julio."  That's how awesome he was.  I feel especially sad because such a huge part of my youth is forever gone.  No more memories to be made with him.  But how fortunate I am to have as many memories as I do!  He was the true "American Dream."  And such a wonderful man for so many reasons that he left a legacy. Everything he did, he did with intensity and correctness. Julio was awesome because... he came from another country and became very successful...against all odds. found THE BEST wife God could have ever made for him. he would help just about anybody. he put 22 people through college. he kept me every weekend. he did the best "run under the swing". every time I saw him he told me how beautiful I was. he knew how to feed the geese and even call to them. he could summon a whole neighborh...

This was supposed to be a tribute for Mother's Day, but apparently I got a little busy.  I guess better late than never. Today is Mother's Day and I have truly been spoiled by my husband and children.  I find so many things for which I am thankful.  But the thing that is most overwhelming today is how I see the Lord made me with my Mother and Mother-In-Law in mind.   They each are wonderful examples of Faith and being servants.  Each serve others without complaint because it is truly their hearts desire to serve others, and that it pleases our God. Each have shaped MY faith in more ways than most people. Each give LOVE unconditionally, just as Jesus asks us to. Each of them love each of their children differently and embrace their strengths and lift-up their weaknesses. Each one of them shows wise submission to their husbands, and yet are some of the strongest, smartest, and most independent women I know. Each one prays without ...

Will they know... how my heart yearns for them after they have been away for only a night? that while they were sick I held them and still kissed them even though they smelled rancid? who tucked them in and kissed them goodnight while they slept? how much my heart hurts when they are hurting? how often I pray for them to have a heart for the Lord? how often I pray for patience to show them unconditional love? how much I want them to be caring and have a thankful heart? the planning that went into each of the crafts and lessons I toiled over? the arguments that I dropped because I knew it wasn't worth fighting over? the times we made cookies because it left them joyful and me full? how I held them while they were angry or sad? how many nights/days I spent holding them so their precious body didn't have to touch the floor, by choice? how protective I am of them? that I tried to create independence in them? how much control I had to let go of so that they could bec...

The fall and into the holidays I feel like we go not stop speed with trying to get everything festive in before the end of the year.  Plus I love to do all the festive things.  I was planning to do a creative post of 25 days of Christmas...but, that never happened.  So I'm just going to give some highlights with maybe a few comments (funny ones if you're lucky) in between. Luke was super into Christmas this year.  He is so enthusiastic about most things, but the morning he woke up to a house full of Christmas decorations he was especially sweet.  "Mommy mommy mommy!!!  I just LOVE my Christmas. I just love it!  It's a special treat for me!,"he says jumping up and down with his eyes tightly shut and mouth moving faster than his little brain synapses could connect. I have always loved Christmas, probably because my mom tried to do as many festive things as she could.  I'm glad he's just as excited about it as I am.  I mean someone else ...

It's been long since told, but we are pregnant again!!!  And to tell you the truth, I am pretty excited.  No, really, I am...at least I am now:)  It came as a bit of a shock, but I am very excited.  Infact, I was just looking at someones facebook page and they were cuddling with their baby, and I had a longing for cuddles...a longing?  Really?  How can this be?  My little girl is only a bit over a year and I'm already ready for another baby.  I can't really say that I was ready for the news when I found out though. We had Carolyn's first birthday party.  To my surprise, as we were opening gifts, I thought that maybe I had started my period...false alarm.  But that got me thinking...when WAS my cycle supposed to start?  I am fairly regular but, I didn't think much of it and the week went on.  Finally on the following Friday it occurred to me that I had not started yet and that I may actually be pregnant.  I was running wi...