Never Have I Ever
You have not lived the life of a first world parent until you have many stories of some kind of bodily fluid cleanup happenstance story. So many that you feel like no one else could have this many stories - but infact I can tell you that Susan down the street, as much as she is trying to hide it, ALSO has these stories under her belt. Let’s play a game of “Never have I ever...” where I name something and you lower your head in defeat if you have. READY?!?? NEVER HAVE I EVER... Caught throw up in my hands...voluntarily I’m gonna let that one sink in for a bit Never have I ever put my smiling baby up high in the air with their beautiful face looking down at you only to be directly vommited on with accuracy of a nuclear bomb. Been changing a baby’s diaper and caught their poo in your hands mid change. Awoken by the cry of someone breathing putrid smelling breath over you saying, “I fink I got sick mommy...” In the car on an awesome family vacation and you look in th