The Mothership

I'm not sure that it was ever in our complete plans to have babies so close in age.  The weekend before we found out we were pregnant with our third, we were watching a t.v. series that involved a lot of young children running around and we turned to each other and said, "HA! WE will NEVER have 3 children 3 and under!"... Well, the next weekend we would be eating our words...our daughter would soon have her 1st birthday and our oldest had not even turned 2 yet!  AHHHHH! I mean I "knew" it would be exhausting because of course EVERYONE tells you, "Oh you are gonna have your hands full!" but...whatever! It's no secret I always envisioned myself a mother of young children.  But I don't think ANYTHING prepared me for; the cloudiness of thought process, the moments of shear terror, the never-seeming to end sleepless nights, the always making your best guess as to why they are upset - which is brain numbing - the frequent in the moment discipline ...

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt I feel as if I live a fairly joyous life. Yeah. I would say I am generally happy. I have beautiful kids, my husband and I have fun together and walk in relationship with Jesus...and many other blessings. I am a fairly positive person moving through life...and yet the enemy can still attack...not often, but he does it just enough.  And it is usually when I have realized a different piece in my calling.   He attacks me in my identity and tries to plant lies. He tries to strangle those seeds that God has planted and that are growing and squish the life from them.  The way he does this to me is mostly through comparison. He whispers: they are more fun than you they are nicer than you they are a better mom than you you are not looking like a Christian that person doesn't like you because you're not ... they are better at everything than you you are not enough And on and on it goes until I put a stop to it beca...

So, moms...I have such a deep appreciation for moms now.  If I had only realized how much of Jesus my mother tried to instill in me at the time, maybe I would have been more appreciative in my younger years.  A friend of mine leads a women's prayer group once a month.  It has provided me with a chance to meet Jesus in a quiet intimate time, in the middle of the day, with minimal distractions - which for a lot of moms can be hard.  This week we were reading over the verse, John 20:19-23. 1 9  That Sunday evening [ a ] the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. 20  As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! 21  Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” 22  Then he breathed on them and said, “Receiv...

Good night sweet heart, well it's time to go... Good night sweet heart, well it's time to go... I hate to leave you, I really must say, Oh, good night sweetheart, goodnight. Sad emoji face... Such sweet words... I sang this to all my sweet babies after they would fall asleep from a nightly feeding.  Oh how I enjoyed those feedings.  Maybe not the waking up part.  But most definitely the snuggling, and inhaling the sweet smell of that baby. I believe that this time has come to an end... I have been blessed with three beautiful babes and am so thankful for all their different characters and personalities.  But, I always, obviously not realistically, envisioned myself as a Mother of young children. so this is hard, people... We recently switched the nursery, that I so carefully planned, into my 4 yr old daughter's bedroom.  No more nursery.  I always knew that the end of my baby making years would be rough, but I did not expect to be...

I've been convicted.  My heart needs a change.  At times, this mothering thing is more difficult than I would have ever thought.  I hate looking back on things and having regrets...and I indeed can think of many times when I have reacted in a way that brings me a feeling of regret.  None of them are some huge, tragic incident that deems this horrific display of parenting.  It's just the day-to-day simple life happenings - which shouldn't get me in such a tizzy - and yet I'm afraid that my children are going to remember me for these reactions instead of a graceful, patient, and merciful mom.  I can be better. I read a blog post on Momastery and she wrote about "Mompetition".  Moms performing and doing amazing things with their child, posting about it on Facebook, and her sarcastically saying that these moms are clearly doing all these things AT HER. Exercising...AT HER, cooking fabulous meals...AT HER...epic birthday parties...AT HER, breast/bottle f...

To my friend at the play date.... ...I am so sorry that I never get a chance to be fully present.  We used to be able to talk about everything, each taking our own turn at giving advice and taking it.  Now, our lives are different with these beautiful little ones consuming each and every happy and sad moment.  But within each moment are small moments that can still be filled... ....please don't stop telling me your stories.  Funny, sad, embarrassing, I want to hear it!  Even though we have been interrupted for the uptenth time, I REALLY want to hear it.  One thing that makes me so sad after a play date is how many stories I realized were just left hanging and I didn't get each important tidbit.  So please, don't stop telling the story because I REALLY want to hear it.  I want to know what is going on with you. ...I apologize for texting you one million questions right after seeing you.  But yet again, those little gems interrupted us wi...

This was supposed to be a tribute for Mother's Day, but apparently I got a little busy.  I guess better late than never. Today is Mother's Day and I have truly been spoiled by my husband and children.  I find so many things for which I am thankful.  But the thing that is most overwhelming today is how I see the Lord made me with my Mother and Mother-In-Law in mind.   They each are wonderful examples of Faith and being servants.  Each serve others without complaint because it is truly their hearts desire to serve others, and that it pleases our God. Each have shaped MY faith in more ways than most people. Each give LOVE unconditionally, just as Jesus asks us to. Each of them love each of their children differently and embrace their strengths and lift-up their weaknesses. Each one of them shows wise submission to their husbands, and yet are some of the strongest, smartest, and most independent women I know. Each one prays without ...