The Mothership

 Have you ever been so cranky you're just agitated with everything in sight? The way the mailman crumpled your package... How you haven't made time to fix the broken window shield in the front of your car... How your children run in from school and immediately drop everything to the floor because they don't have ample time at school to properly use the restroom? The way a certain someone chews their food... You have to wear button up pants, and button up pants make you have a headache... How everyone wants to climb and touch you all the time...  How someone slams the toilet from the other room... How the laundry is NEVER finished and socks will forever be turned inside out... How you spoke horribly to someone this morning and can't fix it till later... NO. Just me, eh? Well, this story starts with one agitated mother and ends with a bag of cheese. I was going about my business and all of the above events, plus a dozen more that I won't be vulnerable enough to enligh

I am super nervous each time I use the insta pot but slowly getting better at using the pressure cooker function. This recipe is super yummy:) and ready in less than an hour - from first chop.  Ingredients:  1&1/2 cups dry brown rice 3 cups of broth Cooking oil  Garlic powder Flank steak - 2 to 2.5lbs 2/3 cup coconut amminos (or soy sauce) 5 cloves of garlic, minced 2 tsp of ginger powder 1 cup water 2 tablespoons of cornstarch  6 tablespoons of cold water 4 tablespoons of honey  2 packs of frozen broccoli florets  Arugula (optional) Sesame seeds Green onions, sliced or snap peas for garnish Recipe: Bring to a boil broth, 1Tbspn of oil, 1tsp garlic salt. Add rice. Simmer covered on low for 45 minutes.  Meanwhile, slice flank steak into thin strips. Heat insta pot on sauté mode. Add cooking oil to the pot and sauté the steak.  While sautéing, whisk the coconut amminos, water, garlic, and ginger powder in a small bowl.  Turn sauté off. Add the whisked sauce to the steak. Give a stir.

So, I haven’t made this in years. Because the last time I made it...it was so detestable, that my husband who will eat almost anything, couldn’t even finish it. It was so bitter. Bleh! So, we were talking with our friends April & Marques and they mentioned that their favorite dish to eat as a family is Eggplant Parmesan. So I asked for the recipe and I added a little to it. I also figured out how to get rid of the bitter taste. This recipe made enough for a 9x13 and an 8x8 freezer meal too. I do all I can to make less work for myself during the busy school year and a lot of times I’ll just make double of the dinner and make a freezer meal out of the extra. Also, I had two HUGE eggplants to use. INGREDIENTS: 2 LARGE eggplants Salt 4 eggs, beaten 3 cups of Panko bread crumbs 1 Italian Dressing seasoning packet 2 jars of red pasta sauce - your favorite 4-5 medium tomatoes, chopped 4 cups of mozzarella fresh, torn basil, about a cup copped red onion (optional)

 My stories and posts from last year at this time keep popping up on my news feeds and the only thing I can think of is "Remember how you felt? You felt so trapped." I was happy. I was joyful. But I was internally exhausted. Trying to be all the things and all the places for all the people. Not that they MADE me do any of it...I said yes to that all on my own and I take responsibility for that. I have a hard time with setting boundaries for myself. If there is anything that has helped me along in my healing it is my husband's ability to cross-reference and say, "maybe that's too much." It doesn't mean I always listen to him, because I have different desires, gifts, and a different threshold than him. But all the same, he is a great sounding board. The memories I have of those times from last year were filled with laughs and goodness. But I can feel the anxiety, stress, and pain welling up in my chest even now of how it felt. Always saying, "I just n

I see you. I know you. You seem familiar and resemble someone I know.  You are the woman holding her babe that seems happy in her arms with the invisible sleeping and attachment struggles from beneath the baby wearing garment. The woman who comes to the party, grimacing and half smiling because her little guy is pumeling everything in sight because he needs to. The woman who comes with the little one afraid to enter the crowd because it is too noisy or too much and all you want to do is socialize.  The woman who comes with a child that is over opinionated and remarks loudly to everything they process. The woman who so desperately wants to understand her child and would do anything to just “have an easy day.” I see your struggle, and your torment. And yet, somehow, I see your delight.  You see the joy in your child. And you feel as if you’re the only one able to see. You ask yourself that question that seems to be on repeat, “Does anyone else see the struggle and yet the life inside thi

Are you in the Valley of Weeping or a place of refreshing springs? Truth is you are either close to the edge of embankment, on your way down, settled at the bottom, or on your way down the stream of your journey.  How interesting that our tears of blessings were once, possibly, our tears through heartache and suffering? The tears that we shed - dry or soaking wet - during our strife become the refreshing springs our body and mind need for renewal. When we we find ourselves at the bottom of the valley it is in Him we can only find encouragement and the endurance to make it to the place of peace.  Our tears, fears, and struggles fall down the rocky bank only to collect into large puddles. We can trust ourselves, but when we do, all that is left is dry ground - never quite quenched. When we trust Him, he guides us along the stream, picking up speed for the journey ahead. Until, all of a sudden we embody the joy and wisdom that only he can give. We come away fully encouraged and conditione

 I don't know about you, but my head is spent.  It is spent because of all the decisions to be made per day are ridiculous. And for us outward processors that aren't processing with people face to face as much anymore...we don't even know how to communicate. A simple decision for me needs to be talked through thoroughly for all the possible outcomes before I can move forward. Pray for my husband because he has shown his true strength with listening to all my decision making skills.  Poor man just sits there, says nothing except maybe the occasional "well," and listens to the dialogue I give back and forth to myself like I'm slapping him in the face. But he's ok. When I am infiltrated with the abundance of pros and cons to be weighed, heaven help yourself if you are in the midst of that conversation, or monologue. I am so sorry to all my friends. Even the smallest of decisions requires careful deliberation. And lately I feel like there is nothing but delibe

I'm not sure how you feel about the doc...any doc. I love them. they provide me with reassurance, listen to my worries and concerns, and generally are doing their best and have my best interest at heart. My doctors are also real.  As in they know how I feel about things, that I outwardly process new information, and that I am sarcastic. They raise concern when warranted and proceed as I would like. Buuuuuuuuuut...there is just never something that prepares me for what can/should/would happen while I am in the office. Now, most of my visits are routine and pass by without anything ridiculous happening. And for most people this is the case.  Mostly life is routine and boring. However, I feel there are some things that get honorable mention. And those things are thus follows. Something happens to my sensibility every time I walk through the doors.  My capabilities of making any decisions and remembering important information/facts flies out the door that just opened and I begin readin

So many people have said so many words. Some words are worthy to stand behind and others not so much. I am not here to debate but simply to pour out my words that I’ve been chewing.  My husband and I sat and watched the beginning of a series called “1968” and for a moment my heart was heavy. I thought, “this was so long ago and yet the same issues.” I think, through years and years of blood sweat and tears, there have been advances and more and more people are “woke,” to civil injustice than before. But the fact of the matter is, there is still an enemy at large. Still an enemy to fight and battle every single day. Everyone’s battle looks different. And just when it seems we have an upper hand on it, that same enemy shows his face again and again. Not just in violence but in fear, sickness, anxiety, depression, division, and on and on.  And you know what? The ONLY thing keeping that enemy from winning my battle is HOPE. The only thing that can truly and completely drive out the hate in

Many of my recipes involve a good amount of garlic and onion. Well I am experimenting with a special diet for one of my lovelies and the diet excludes or strongly suggests to omit garlic and onion. I use those ingredients in just about every one of my recipes. My grandmother made a phenomenal Fish Soup; a recipe passed down to my mother as well. I love the thought of family recipes, and feel a bit guilty at the thought of changing them. But I am making adjustments as I see fit, to suit the needs of my family. So here is a version of my grandmother's fish soup. *just as with any soup I always taste before serving. Sometime I need extra salt and sometimes I don’t. We do not overly salt our foods so you may need extra.  Ingredients: 5 whole carrots, peeled and sliced into rounds 4 stalks of celery, sliced and chopped cooking oil (I used avocado oil) Salt pepper 1 tsp. Cumin 1&1/2 tsp. Ginger 2 lbs. Tilapia 1/2 tsp. thyme 1 cup cut, uncooked, Green beans 1/2 sweet re

We have been cooped up for many a days now. I am tired of cooking. I am tired of all the directing of chaos. I am tired of being the good listener. I am tired...for many reasons. But mostly because I am spent. I've spent all the energy I have on the daily of pouring into my little brood.  I have come to terms with the idea of rest. Rest might be a figment of my imagination?!?!  This job will forever be exhausting. However, what if I changed my expectations? What if instead of saying, "That wasn't what I had hoped for...that wasn't what I expected," I look to what was there? What was in the midst of the moment enveloped in goodness? What was in the little efforts? What were the intentions? Expectations help us strive for more and reach for high goals. I see the value behind those benchmarks. Friends, expectations, though they start with good intentions, set limitations. Expectations can be humbling motivators, and I believe are at the driving point

I love experimenting in the kitchen and the more I do it, the more comfortable I get with making mistakes. As a child, I would stand with my tippy toes stretching and my head straining to see exactly what my grandmother would be orchestrating. She was ALWAYS cooking.  You know how your memory fades, but for memories that mean so much to you, they are imprinted in your mind?!?? And if you close your eyes hard enough it’s like you are right there in the memory?!? One thing I can still picture to this day is her arthritic hands stirring ingredients. She rarely used a spoon for stirring. She almost always used her pair of hands. The hands that God gave her. The hands that orchestrated so many things...notes, lists, phone calls, present wrapping, crossword puzzle filling, hugs, finger shaking, and stirring ingredients most frequently. My grandmother was amazing. She is my tie to the “hills” and my reason for being slightly sassy. She always encouraged me to make things in the kitchen and to

I have been on a lemon kick lately. And it’s feeling like summer. So I wanted to try a new salad fit for dinner. I found something similar to this on Pinterest but of course when I went to get the recipe - it wasn’t there. So I was left with a picture. I added a grocery list since you make three separate things and use like ingredients for each part. Hopefully, this helps your brain hurt a little less. This made about 3 servings. So here we go...inspiration from Pinterest. Grocery list (made about 3 servings): 1 lemon 1 large container of broth (at least 2 cups) salt pepper 1 English cucumber avocado oil 4 garlic cloves lentils, uncooked couscous, uncooked 1 brick of mozarella, or container of feta, or goat cheese pine nuts Ingredients: For the lentils: 1 & 1/2 cup lentils, uncooked 1 cup broth (or till lentils are covered) Dash of oil (I used avocado oil) 1/4 tsp. salt For the couscous: 1 cup couscous, uncooked bit of oil (I used avocado oil)

I love me some buttered lemon chicken with pasta - but I’m nearing 40 and have all this time to experiment. So, I changed the ingredients to be slightly healthier. A version to add protein for vegetarians is at the bottoms;) this is another where you can do a lot of the prep in steps and come back to it. Or do it all at once and cook at the end of the day.  Ingredients: - 3 chicken breasts - 1 lemon - 1/3 cup avocado oil (or other cooking oil) - 1 tsp paprika - 1 tsp onion powder -  6 garlic cloves - 1/2tsp red pepper flakes - salt - pepper - 1/3 cup broth (I used chicken broth) - 1 spaghetti squash - 1&1/2 cup chopped tomatoes  - kale, ripped into pieces, maybe 1 cup total   - regular spaghetti (for those who are not fans of spaghetti squash - shredded Parmesan cheese RECIPE :  1. First we marinate the chicken.      - place the chicken into a gallon ziplock. Zest half the lemon over the chicken. Squeeze half the lemon over the chicken. Add the paprika, red pepper flakes, salt, pep

Today, I walked into the grocery store, like many, many other Ohioans. They came to stock their fridge and pantry. And while I really needed eggs, and so did the twelve other people swarming the man restocking the eggs, I came to meander the aisles...really I did.  I came ready to fill my cart and take my time.  When I parked I found a space soon enough and expected to see plenty of people as I entered the doors.  But as the large automatic doors opened, I was overwhelmed with what was before my eyes. I grabbed my cart and as I passed through the large doors people were furiously scrubbing their carts for fear of contracting a droplet. I moved to the bananas and I heard a rude exchange between two individuals...over bananas. And you know what I saw written all over the faces of the employees, the shoppers, the PEOPLE... panic...anxiety...worry...nearsightedness.  It took me a minute to gain my bearings...I felt weird like I was in a movie where the actors thoughts and actions go

Most recently a dear friend of ours passed away. She was such a light.  From a young age, Jan and Tim both took an interest in me.  Not just me though.  They saw value in all of the youth.  They encouraged us, told us hard truths, stayed up late to keep us honest on trips, and always provided a welcoming smile and face when our paths would cross again. She is a bright light that will surely be missed.  What a legacy of a servanthood, encouragement, support, and example of what a faith filled person emanates. Today she will be laid to rest and I will surely see others that ALSO served valiantly in our youth ministry. And to them I am ever thankful. Here are some words from Jan and Tim as they shared how important the youth program was for them. I was part of a youth program at Westwood United Methodist Church that I am for certain helped support me and guide me through my high school and college years. It gave me a community when I didn't find one at my school. It gave me mentors

This recipe was given to me by a friend, Tori. She pushes me to try new foods that are simple and always with more than a motive of “it just tastes good.” She eats food with purpose and the bonus is it always tastes great. This recipe makes enough for Tim and I to have dinner and about 2 lunches each for the week. So thanks, Tori, for this simple, tasty recipe. Recipe: Ingredients: 1 large container of vegetable broth 1 purple cabbage, rough chopped  Garlic powder Salt 2 cups dry quinoa 4 cups of the vegetable broth from large container.  Garlic Salt Olive oil Balsamic vinegar *Parmesan shredded cheese, if desired. I used dairy free shreds. Begin by heating about 1/2 cup of vegetable broth in a large sauté pan. Bring to a boil.  Add chopped purple cabbage. Sprinkle garlic and salt over top. Give a stir. Cover and reduce to a simmer. Simmer for about an hour, stirring occasionally    While cabbage is cooking, in a separate sauce pan, bring 4 cups of v