Friends during this season


Friends are so important to me.  They provide me with the ability to see things clearly.  They love and support me, yada, yada, yada.  I could continue but I think everyone, in a different season of their life, has different aspects that are important to them in a friendship.

I know the characteristics I valued as a teenager are most definitely NOT the same as they are now.  I have learned through a lot of friendships, or what I thought were friendships, hard truths of what I value in a friend.  But isn't that one of the points of high school...learning who you are and what you value?  I feel like I've only REALLY been able to reflect on this recently.  I wish I could go back in time and save myself a lot of emotional torment and grief.  However, I think all the emotional hurt was vital to my growth and understanding what I wanted in a friend.



In this season of my life, I just don't have a lot of time.  My time is separated and doled out to a variety of people.  I wish I had time for MORE people.  I love people! I wish I could invest in more of them.  However, if I try and invest in EVERY single person I enjoy, then are any of them my real friends?  There is not enough time for everyone to pour their all in to every person.  I am also a mom, a wife (he is a friend of mine, btw), and a daughter, and a sister...and there are just soooooo many people.

 
I don't think God called us to be BEST friends with every single person we meet.  But I DO think he calls us to love on every single person we meet.  To show God's love in a genuine way to every encounter we have.  To be intentional. But also to realize that not everyone wants to be my best friend...I am a lot for some people...and others love me the way I am.  My point is a variety of people make up a variety of friendships.  It's great to have a few great ones!



I am learning to be more proactive when I hear God.  When people randomly pop into my head (which is often) I now realize that they may need encouragement at that moment, or that day.  I am sooooo thankful for texting.  With toddlers running amok, I am not able to give a lot of focused, undivided, "on the Phone" attention because my kids also need focused conversation.  But I can send someone a thoughtful, meaningful text letting them know I was thinking about them and praying for them without having to lock myself in the bathroom to do it.  And then talk to them about it later.  This doesn't mean I don't appreciate phone calls, because I do...I love hearing from people...but I can't talk on the phone like I used to.  It also doesn't mean the only way I want to converse with people is through texting.  I do want to talk with them and hear more about them.  But texting offers a way for me to talk to a variety of people throughout the day knowing they can get back to me at their leisure and at mine.



Here are the things that I find important to me in my BEST friends, and I only wish I had known sooner:
  • calling me out when I've made a mistake
  • being able to have hard conversations with them and at the end of it, coming out stronger than before.
  • making time for me even though schedules are busy (this is huge right now).
  • hearing from them throughout the day (by text, in person, or by phone)
  • someone that is seeking goodness and love and joy
  • willing to dance with me
  • someone that shares their struggles and happy times with me...let's me into their family
  • they can handle my tears...which are many
  • they have a comedy routine...I mean I've gotta laugh people
  • someone that can quickly forgive
  • someone that challenges me 
  • someone that supports me
  • someone that feels safe to be unhappy around me and that I too can be sad and unhappy with as well (not in a pity party kind of way, but a real "I'm sad, help me through this and understand where I'm coming from" kind of way).
  • sharing TMI...and being ok with it
  • HAVING FUN!
  • is walking with Jesus (everyone is at a different point in their walk...so this is varying, but my close friends are mostly all seeking Jesus...that doesn't mean I'm not open to friendships outside of that)
  • honesty...boom.  
Super thankful for the close friends that invest in me.  I REALLY need you.  Love you to pieces.



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