The Mothership

So, it's been a while, and I never updated about my goal of not yelling. I'm happy to say that I made it 10 days! But then of course, there were too many days of asking repeatedly the same things, not enough Daddy time and,yada, yada, yada, I was right back in my old ways. Luckily one of my children likes to snap me out of it. I think this 10 days of no yelling was something like a reset for the kids and when I exploded, they were caught off guard...and yet they were so forgiving. I can't even remember the reason why I yelled.  I just remember Luke saying, "it's okay, Mommy. I forgive you too." And this time instead of yelling at him for being disrespectful, I took it in the back of my throat and swallowed hard. I hugged him and just said, "Thank you." Since that moment when I broke my streak, there have been longer  "streaks" and shorter moments of explosion.  The Lord is providing me with better words and understanding.  I'm not p...

So, this is somewhat of a repeat post, but I have improved upon this soup:). This soup is a family favorite for all...even the baby cleaned his plate! I never have to beg them to finish their plates.  This time I've added chicken and more liquid. I added the chicken because we wanted it a little more hearty. It's still really tastey without chicken. I would still add the extra broth and liquid. Enjoy! 1 lb. of Chicken Tenderloins cut into bite sized pieces 2 (15oz) cans of white Cannellini Beans, drained and rinsed  1 (14.5oz) can diced tomatoes  1 large tomato, chopped 1 white onion, chopped 1-2 cloves of garlic, minced 2-3 Tablespoons Smoked Paprika 1/2 tsp salt or more to your liking Olive oil (or coconut oil) 1 bunch of Kale, rinsed, stems removed, and chopped  1 14oz. can of vegetable broth Extra water Parmesan cheese, shredded  Put about a tablespoon or more of the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add chicken, onion, and garlic to sauté. Sprinkle s...

We are in the midst of a parenting class..."Loving your kids on purpose".  We've only had the introduction and it has already changed me, or at least been the tipping point and answer to my prayers. Parenting has been somewhat difficult for me lately.  I have not handled the simplest of situations gracefully.  I have been asking for God's forgiveness and to please change my heart...make it new again.  Help me to see the loving way to discipline these kids instead of yelling...almost...every...day. I believe my heart has been opened and my prayers are being answered.  This week just seems a little lighter, a little less stressed.  A little more lovely. So, I am making a goal...can I go, 5 days without screaming at my kids?  I think I can because I have done it three days so far.  Even with the fighting, hair pulling, and tantrums, I feel like this week I have responded better than ever before.  PLEASE let this continue.  I'm not say...

"Fathers be  good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do Girls become lovers who turn in to mothers so mothers be good to your daughters too."                                                          -John Mayer This just sums it all up.  If we could all be just good to one another - because everyone is personally touched by others both good and bad- the world would be a better place (sounds so cliche, but it's the truth).  The problem is that just isn't the case.  This post started to be directed at just my daughter and her well being and character.  However, I realized that I need to also be focusing on my sons and their perception of women.  With 50 shades of Grey, sexual abuse, general disregard and respect for girls, destruction in the Middle East, the #askhermore project, sex traffic...

My God is a great God. A good God. And I believe He sees us through anything.  Anyone who knows me, knows I am very emotional. When I watch things, or read things in the news my mind becomes all encompassed. I feel as if my mind takes the information in like a breath of smoke and the smoke immediately moves down around my heart and just squeezes it until I remove myself from reading/seeing more. However, even after I try to remove myself, my soul seems to say, "keep thinking, keep praying," As if I am having a conversation with God and he is begging me to talk with Him and converse just like any friend would do if they were troubled. Now, I don't believe that God is troubled. However, I do believe he does this to me to draw in my attention.  He wants us to know that others are hurting so that we CAN pray for them and also so that it maybe changes our heart. Maybe that's wrong, but that's how I feel. I don't feel like he does this in a manipulative way, but a w...

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13 NIV)" I have a blessed life. I can't count the blessings God has given me because they are so numerous. How magnificent He is to me and my walk with Him. He has planted so many seeds for me; all of which are carefully planned and used to draw closer to Him.  As I sit and ponder all the wonderful things God has given me over the years, one thing that stands out more than most is this: my TRUE friendships. These are friendships that  ...stand the test of time ...repair themselves ...are real; no fakeness ...beyond emotional for me to talk about ...are each some kind of reflection of my relationship with Jesus ...are important These are my People Seeds. God knows how I work and what motivates me; people and emotions. Since having kids it seems my time is limited and my memory as well. Which makes my time even more valuable than before. Over the past year, God has really shown me my true...

Will they know... how my heart yearns for them after they have been away for only a night? that while they were sick I held them and still kissed them even though they smelled rancid? who tucked them in and kissed them goodnight while they slept? how much my heart hurts when they are hurting? how often I pray for them to have a heart for the Lord? how often I pray for patience to show them unconditional love? how much I want them to be caring and have a thankful heart? the planning that went into each of the crafts and lessons I toiled over? the arguments that I dropped because I knew it wasn't worth fighting over? the times we made cookies because it left them joyful and me full? how I held them while they were angry or sad? how many nights/days I spent holding them so their precious body didn't have to touch the floor, by choice? how protective I am of them? that I tried to create independence in them? how much control I had to let go of so that they could bec...