The Mothership

So, I haven’t made this in years. Because the last time I made it...it was so detestable, that my husband who will eat almost anything, couldn’t even finish it. It was so bitter. Bleh! So, we were talking with our friends April & Marques and they mentioned that their favorite dish to eat as a family is Eggplant Parmesan. So I asked for the recipe and I added a little to it. I also figured out how to get rid of the bitter taste. This recipe made enough for a 9x13 and an 8x8 freezer meal too. I do all I can to make less work for myself during the busy school year and a lot of times I’ll just make double of the dinner and make a freezer meal out of the extra. Also, I had two HUGE eggplants to use. INGREDIENTS: 2 LARGE eggplants Salt 4 eggs, beaten 3 cups of Panko bread crumbs 1 Italian Dressing seasoning packet 2 jars of red pasta sauce - your favorite 4-5 medium tomatoes, chopped 4 cups of mozzarella fresh, torn basil, about a cup copped red onion (optional) ...

 My stories and posts from last year at this time keep popping up on my news feeds and the only thing I can think of is "Remember how you felt? You felt so trapped." I was happy. I was joyful. But I was internally exhausted. Trying to be all the things and all the places for all the people. Not that they MADE me do any of it...I said yes to that all on my own and I take responsibility for that. I have a hard time with setting boundaries for myself. If there is anything that has helped me along in my healing it is my husband's ability to cross-reference and say, "maybe that's too much." It doesn't mean I always listen to him, because I have different desires, gifts, and a different threshold than him. But all the same, he is a great sounding board. The memories I have of those times from last year were filled with laughs and goodness. But I can feel the anxiety, stress, and pain welling up in my chest even now of how it felt. Always saying, "I just n...

I see you. I know you. You seem familiar and resemble someone I know.  You are the woman holding her babe that seems happy in her arms with the invisible sleeping and attachment struggles from beneath the baby wearing garment. The woman who comes to the party, grimacing and half smiling because her little guy is pumeling everything in sight because he needs to. The woman who comes with the little one afraid to enter the crowd because it is too noisy or too much and all you want to do is socialize.  The woman who comes with a child that is over opinionated and remarks loudly to everything they process. The woman who so desperately wants to understand her child and would do anything to just “have an easy day.” I see your struggle, and your torment. And yet, somehow, I see your delight.  You see the joy in your child. And you feel as if you’re the only one able to see. You ask yourself that question that seems to be on repeat, “Does anyone else see the struggle and yet the l...

Are you in the Valley of Weeping or a place of refreshing springs? Truth is you are either close to the edge of embankment, on your way down, settled at the bottom, or on your way down the stream of your journey.  How interesting that our tears of blessings were once, possibly, our tears through heartache and suffering? The tears that we shed - dry or soaking wet - during our strife become the refreshing springs our body and mind need for renewal. When we we find ourselves at the bottom of the valley it is in Him we can only find encouragement and the endurance to make it to the place of peace.  Our tears, fears, and struggles fall down the rocky bank only to collect into large puddles. We can trust ourselves, but when we do, all that is left is dry ground - never quite quenched. When we trust Him, he guides us along the stream, picking up speed for the journey ahead. Until, all of a sudden we embody the joy and wisdom that only he can give. We come away fully encouraged and c...

 I don't know about you, but my head is spent.  It is spent because of all the decisions to be made per day are ridiculous. And for us outward processors that aren't processing with people face to face as much anymore...we don't even know how to communicate. A simple decision for me needs to be talked through thoroughly for all the possible outcomes before I can move forward. Pray for my husband because he has shown his true strength with listening to all my decision making skills.  Poor man just sits there, says nothing except maybe the occasional "well," and listens to the dialogue I give back and forth to myself like I'm slapping him in the face. But he's ok. When I am infiltrated with the abundance of pros and cons to be weighed, heaven help yourself if you are in the midst of that conversation, or monologue. I am so sorry to all my friends. Even the smallest of decisions requires careful deliberation. And lately I feel like there is nothing but delibe...

I'm not sure how you feel about the doc...any doc. I love them. they provide me with reassurance, listen to my worries and concerns, and generally are doing their best and have my best interest at heart. My doctors are also real.  As in they know how I feel about things, that I outwardly process new information, and that I am sarcastic. They raise concern when warranted and proceed as I would like. Buuuuuuuuuut...there is just never something that prepares me for what can/should/would happen while I am in the office. Now, most of my visits are routine and pass by without anything ridiculous happening. And for most people this is the case.  Mostly life is routine and boring. However, I feel there are some things that get honorable mention. And those things are thus follows. Something happens to my sensibility every time I walk through the doors.  My capabilities of making any decisions and remembering important information/facts flies out the door that just opened and I be...

So many people have said so many words. Some words are worthy to stand behind and others not so much. I am not here to debate but simply to pour out my words that I’ve been chewing.  My husband and I sat and watched the beginning of a series called “1968” and for a moment my heart was heavy. I thought, “this was so long ago and yet the same issues.” I think, through years and years of blood sweat and tears, there have been advances and more and more people are “woke,” to civil injustice than before. But the fact of the matter is, there is still an enemy at large. Still an enemy to fight and battle every single day. Everyone’s battle looks different. And just when it seems we have an upper hand on it, that same enemy shows his face again and again. Not just in violence but in fear, sickness, anxiety, depression, division, and on and on.  And you know what? The ONLY thing keeping that enemy from winning my battle is HOPE. The only thing that can truly and completely drive out th...