New Rhythms

We have been evaluating our family dynamics from morning routines, to evening routines, and seeing where we may have taken a turn from our initial intent. Tim asked me to read the book 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni. I highly recommend this easy to read tool. We are at the beginning stages of putting it into practice. In one of the activations, you are to strategize about your family values. One of my family values would be for my children to know the Bible and understand God in a real, living, way that can imprint their identity and also help guide them to where God can use them in the world. 

But who's got time for that?!?!

We are all out here trying to do our best. Our family during many months of the year can run ragged and maybe only all sit down to eat together twice a week. The values and focus we want to impress upon our children can get lost in the daily shuffle of “doings” if we are not careful and intentional with our time. I want to prioritize Bible study and understanding God, but I need to be realistic of space, time and thresholds. Among the five of us, being with God can look very different and it definitely has over the years, even for my children. 

I don’t know about you but one more tool to buy that doesn’t quite fit our family dynamic, not to mention be it expensive, doesn’t seem realistic and enticing to me. I think there are so many tools that are available, and cute, and matching and they are lovely. If you’ve used them, no judging from me! But they aren’t always feasible for us. I think I get overwhelmed at the idea of which tool is the best. Before I know it I’ve gone down a rabbit hole of a guilt trip because I don’t spend enough time in the word with my children - let alone spend intentional time in guiding their giftings and we are just letting the days sweep on by us. But is that really true? I think we’ve gotten off path some days. But instead of a guilt trip I needed an in the moment right now fix with things in my home. So, because I love office supplies and am a teacher at heart - I made my own tool. But not first without seeking guidance from the ultimate tool. 

I sat with God asking, what should I be focused on with my kids? I felt like he impressed on my heart…I just want them to KNOW me.

 

So I grabbed a sharpie and index card. In my experience dinnertime conversation can go a few ways. When structure is provided it can go swimmingly. Too much structure and we get off topic or it seems not exciting to them after spending a whole day at school sitting and listening. And no structure ends up talking about all the bodily functions and silliness - which some nights I'm in favor of. I have tried to have a Bible study at the table and somehow we get off topic, probably talking about bodily functions. So I wanted SOME structure with loads of participation. I came up with a list of questions I was eager to know if my children knew the answers to or what they might say. But can I tell you, they had so many other questions too!

 

Teachers know that open ended questions that don’t just have one answer bring about investigation and invite higher level questions. We have only implemented these a few weeks, but each question has lent itself to great discussion and prompted deeper discussion and investigation into his word. I have my list, but my children have also participated in making up questions for us to answer as well. While it isn't intense, it invites them playfully and keeps the conversation focused, with very little preparation. I also get to hear things I didn't know they knew and assess where maybe we should dive a bit deeper. 

 

Here is my list I started with, but I bet you all have more! I'd love to hear your ideas.

• Where is God? Where did you notice Him today?
• What is heaven like?
• What do you think God laid on you specifically that is a gift - it comes easy to you and you enjoy it?
• What is the Holy Spirit's job?
• What does the Father do?
• Who were Jesus' disciples? What does it mean to be a disciple? Who is a disciple you personally know?
  
• What is something new or exciting God has shared with you?
• Your imagination is creative just like your creator's. What has popped into your imagination lately that you feel like God placed there?
  
• What is God helping you through right now?
• Who is God asking you to show his love to today?
• What has God asked you to steward? How do we steward what God has given us?
• What do you enjoy doing for yourself?
• What do you enjoy doing for others?
• What is a struggle/what was hard for you today?
• God sets us in a safe place (Psalm 31:4) Where have you felt his safety?
• God cares about us and the pain we feel. What pain or anxiety do you feel you can hand over to him?
• Where have you felt God give you strength?
• How do Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Father work together?

These are just a few. I figured this would get us pretty far. Here is one Carolyn wrote the other day. 

If given the opportunity, the children love to participate in the activity by creating the structure. Let them! I bet they have better questions than you! Or at least more relevant to them.