The Mothership

The amount of things I have unfinished at the moment is unreal. I don't usually let things get this out of hand (or what I think is out of hand) ...but April/May happened and I haven't been able to catch up. Or is that my reality?!?! Am I really as organized as I'd like to think?!?! My desk would say otherwise. Sometimes, as I walk through my house, all I can see are the reminders of all the unfinished projects and loose ends.  Does your mind ever wander into mindless banter? And then as you begin to start your day accomplishing Mount "whatever" you trail from project to project and child's need back to project, accomplishing maybe only one thing?!?! I mean as I sit here trying to type out my thoughts I am couponing, reading a devotional, looking at my calendar because I never got back to that person about that date, birthday shopping, making breakfast, and my to-do list for today. I am distracted... I walk from room to room and these are just some of th...

I still have a lot to learn about love.  I've put in a lot of years with the same man - 19 to be exact - and yet, we still learn new things everyday.  We are not the same couple from high school ( definitely not in appearance ) nor the same from the first year of our marriage.  Some things haven't changed: we still have loads of fun, we still bicker, we are still each others best friends, we are both pursuing the Lord, he is still faster than me ( some things you just learn to embrace ).  But other things are different: we communicate better, we build each other up, we drop the small things, we prioritize for each other, we are better lovers, we have better boundaries to keep our relationship a top priority, we are teammates, and the BEST one is we are better at respecting each other.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times we have thrown each other under the bus.  There are times when we are arguing in front of others and neither one of us is bei...

So, it's been a while, and I never updated about my goal of not yelling. I'm happy to say that I made it 10 days! But then of course, there were too many days of asking repeatedly the same things, not enough Daddy time and,yada, yada, yada, I was right back in my old ways. Luckily one of my children likes to snap me out of it. I think this 10 days of no yelling was something like a reset for the kids and when I exploded, they were caught off guard...and yet they were so forgiving. I can't even remember the reason why I yelled.  I just remember Luke saying, "it's okay, Mommy. I forgive you too." And this time instead of yelling at him for being disrespectful, I took it in the back of my throat and swallowed hard. I hugged him and just said, "Thank you." Since that moment when I broke my streak, there have been longer  "streaks" and shorter moments of explosion.  The Lord is providing me with better words and understanding.  I'm not p...

We are in the midst of a parenting class..."Loving your kids on purpose".  We've only had the introduction and it has already changed me, or at least been the tipping point and answer to my prayers. Parenting has been somewhat difficult for me lately.  I have not handled the simplest of situations gracefully.  I have been asking for God's forgiveness and to please change my heart...make it new again.  Help me to see the loving way to discipline these kids instead of yelling...almost...every...day. I believe my heart has been opened and my prayers are being answered.  This week just seems a little lighter, a little less stressed.  A little more lovely. So, I am making a goal...can I go, 5 days without screaming at my kids?  I think I can because I have done it three days so far.  Even with the fighting, hair pulling, and tantrums, I feel like this week I have responded better than ever before.  PLEASE let this continue.  I'm not say...

Will they know... how my heart yearns for them after they have been away for only a night? that while they were sick I held them and still kissed them even though they smelled rancid? who tucked them in and kissed them goodnight while they slept? how much my heart hurts when they are hurting? how often I pray for them to have a heart for the Lord? how often I pray for patience to show them unconditional love? how much I want them to be caring and have a thankful heart? the planning that went into each of the crafts and lessons I toiled over? the arguments that I dropped because I knew it wasn't worth fighting over? the times we made cookies because it left them joyful and me full? how I held them while they were angry or sad? how many nights/days I spent holding them so their precious body didn't have to touch the floor, by choice? how protective I am of them? that I tried to create independence in them? how much control I had to let go of so that they could bec...

Tim and I recently had a child-free morning, thanks to my parents.  On this early morning we were able to drink coffee without a worry of it being spilled, go back for a second cup, walk around naked....(Just kidding;).  We also spent the whole morning whilst drinking our coffee, on the front porch talking for almost 2 hours.  This is a VERY rare occasion.  Not just because of children, but life and all the distractions it holds.  Which got us talking about some goals we decided we wanted to instil as a family.  We tried to make goals that are realistic and attainable, yet challenging. So here they are: All snacks must be portioned out (No bag or jar eating)...and at least 15 minutes between snacks.  This goal is mainly for Tim and I because the kids are growing, they don't have any obesity issues that I'm aware and Tim and I tend to snack after the kids have gone to bed. No T.V. watching 2 nights a week .  Tim and I are so tired by the end of...