Where Do We Reach?
We have been cooped up for many a days now.
I am tired of cooking.
I am tired of all the directing of chaos.
I am tired of being the good listener.
I am tired...for many reasons.
But mostly because I am spent. I've spent all the energy I have on the daily of pouring into my little brood. I have come to terms with the idea of rest. Rest might be a figment of my imagination?!?! This job will forever be exhausting.
However, what if I changed my expectations? What if instead of saying, "That wasn't what I had hoped for...that wasn't what I expected," I look to what was there? What was in the midst of the moment enveloped in goodness? What was in the little efforts? What were the intentions? Expectations help us strive for more and reach for high goals. I see the value behind those benchmarks.
Friends, expectations, though they start with good intentions, set limitations. Expectations can be humbling motivators, and I believe are at the driving point of most successes. But, they set us into a box of unprecedented disappointments if we are not careful. If we look to the expectations as our meters of success, then what happens when those expectations are not met? We spiral into fear, comparison, disappointment, and depression.
The responsibility and honor of shaping my young is not lost on me. The weight of forging their minds, and hearts is not lost on me. Yes, they drive me crazy sometimes, but I need to remember I am not all that they need.
Am I stewarding a heart for religion...for material things...for hurdles that will never be leapt over...for faceless community...for inward thinking...for a "me" mentality...for self-hatred and self-loathing?
Or am I stewarding a heart of faithfulness...love...goodness...thoughtfulness...strength...endurance...confidence...a heart for the Lord? Most importantly, am I offering opportunities to forge a desire to find their specific purpose that propels them as an arrow waging war against an enemy that tells us "our expectations haven't been met and they aren't even good enough." Let me tell you...you don't even have to try to reach high to be closer to that expectation.
This song sums it up.
They need to see their mom struggle and pull herself up. They need to see me in the pits and reach for the Jesus that lifts you out of the depths like the arm that reaches out when you are hanging off a cliff. The need to see you value yourself and your identity and inheritance he has placed in each of us AS WOMEN. They need to see us place our relationship with God higher than any other thing the world can offer. They need to see that the only thing I rely on is the love of God. They need to KNOW their inheritance that is vested to them. Without seeing the aforementioned scenarios, they learn that their only option is to rely on the expectations of others, and they can surely be met with disappointment and angst.
If I don't place my rest in HIM, then yes, it is a level I will never achieve. I want my children to look at me as a person that HELPED them along their journey. Not a person that tore it down with unmet expectations. And the only way I can do that is by showing them how I personally do that. We are commissioned as mothers to set a standard in the house. And standard shouldn't be higher than the tip of Jesus' feet. And what does that look like? It looks like bowing down, coming to our knees, and offering everything and all that we have and setting it all at his feet. He meets us down here. Not reaching up like desperate starving souls. He is here. Ready and willing for you to set aside all the expectations that have been told to you.
To all the mothers I know, spiritual and relational alike...You have been made for this. And your expectations of yourself and those around you are different for each. Let us take our expectations, set them before Jesus, and see if they line up for the purpose he have set forth for you, and our generations to come. Let the old expectations wither and die and the new ones bring forth life and fruitfulness.
I am tired of cooking.
I am tired of all the directing of chaos.
I am tired of being the good listener.
I am tired...for many reasons.
But mostly because I am spent. I've spent all the energy I have on the daily of pouring into my little brood. I have come to terms with the idea of rest. Rest might be a figment of my imagination?!?! This job will forever be exhausting.
However, what if I changed my expectations? What if instead of saying, "That wasn't what I had hoped for...that wasn't what I expected," I look to what was there? What was in the midst of the moment enveloped in goodness? What was in the little efforts? What were the intentions? Expectations help us strive for more and reach for high goals. I see the value behind those benchmarks.
Friends, expectations, though they start with good intentions, set limitations. Expectations can be humbling motivators, and I believe are at the driving point of most successes. But, they set us into a box of unprecedented disappointments if we are not careful. If we look to the expectations as our meters of success, then what happens when those expectations are not met? We spiral into fear, comparison, disappointment, and depression.
The responsibility and honor of shaping my young is not lost on me. The weight of forging their minds, and hearts is not lost on me. Yes, they drive me crazy sometimes, but I need to remember I am not all that they need.
In Raising Giant-Killers, Bill & Beni Johnson say, "They [children] are on loan from God, and it is our responsibility to steward correctly God's treasure in a way that pleases Him."
If I take that statement and the promises God has given us as mothers, then what am I stewarding? What is the treasure in each of my children that I am fostering? What expectations am I valuing?
Am I stewarding a heart for religion...for material things...for hurdles that will never be leapt over...for faceless community...for inward thinking...for a "me" mentality...for self-hatred and self-loathing?
Or am I stewarding a heart of faithfulness...love...goodness...thoughtfulness...strength...endurance...confidence...a heart for the Lord? Most importantly, am I offering opportunities to forge a desire to find their specific purpose that propels them as an arrow waging war against an enemy that tells us "our expectations haven't been met and they aren't even good enough." Let me tell you...you don't even have to try to reach high to be closer to that expectation.
This song sums it up.
I am washed by the blood of the lamb,
I am washed by the blood of the lamb,
By your stripes I'm closer than I've ever been.
They need to see their mom struggle and pull herself up. They need to see me in the pits and reach for the Jesus that lifts you out of the depths like the arm that reaches out when you are hanging off a cliff. The need to see you value yourself and your identity and inheritance he has placed in each of us AS WOMEN. They need to see us place our relationship with God higher than any other thing the world can offer. They need to see that the only thing I rely on is the love of God. They need to KNOW their inheritance that is vested to them. Without seeing the aforementioned scenarios, they learn that their only option is to rely on the expectations of others, and they can surely be met with disappointment and angst.
If I don't place my rest in HIM, then yes, it is a level I will never achieve. I want my children to look at me as a person that HELPED them along their journey. Not a person that tore it down with unmet expectations. And the only way I can do that is by showing them how I personally do that. We are commissioned as mothers to set a standard in the house. And standard shouldn't be higher than the tip of Jesus' feet. And what does that look like? It looks like bowing down, coming to our knees, and offering everything and all that we have and setting it all at his feet. He meets us down here. Not reaching up like desperate starving souls. He is here. Ready and willing for you to set aside all the expectations that have been told to you.
To all the mothers I know, spiritual and relational alike...You have been made for this. And your expectations of yourself and those around you are different for each. Let us take our expectations, set them before Jesus, and see if they line up for the purpose he have set forth for you, and our generations to come. Let the old expectations wither and die and the new ones bring forth life and fruitfulness.
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