It all begins with the eyes

It's how it all starts...

A conversation...with the eyes.

Someone walks past me and I smile, and most of the time I look them straight in the eye.  Other times, I smile and look alllllll the other ways. Eye contact is an art of timing and longevity...too short and people think you are too busy, or snobby...too long and people get the impression you are a creeper.

Most that know me now would say that I'm fairly outgoing, talkative, and friendly. However, as a child I was not.  I was friendly and talkative ONCE you got to know me and even then I probably needed someone secure around. I would want to talk to people and have loads to say, but not the conviction or the confidence to do so.

Even now as adults, when my husband and I enter new rooms of people we don't know, I am the shy one. Which is so puzzling to people.

My desire to talk to people completely depends on the day. Some days I feel filled with the Lord's confidence and speak to almost every stranger at the grocery store. The night before the snowpocalypse this year, I needed to go to the grocery and waited in line for an hour and I conversed with alllllll the people beside me and also ate thru half my cart.

Each person has a gaze so strong that as you've heard "the eyes are the window to the soul" which is so profound. When you look at someone you can fake a smile, but your eyes tell the whole story.  The tone of each conversation I begin almost always is determined with my gaze.

Where am I looking? Am I aloof? Disconnected? Intentional? Intimidated?

Where I look, and how I look set the tone. And for each person that I meet, I want them to feel safe, loved, and a bit of the sunshine and hope that Jesus so freely gives to me (and to them). When I look at someone and do not engage with intentional eyes, that immediately tells the person that they don't matter, and their importance is diminished. When I am intimidated by people - usually men, for what reason I have no idea - I look away and it's usually because I have awful lies in my head, spinning round and round,

"he/she thinks I'm silly...he/she won't like what I have to say...what I have to say isn't important..."

All of these wretched lies to keep me from talking to people.

As I was wrapping my head around what to write about this God showed me this this verse,


"Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you." Proverbs 4:25


I asked Him for guidance as to what that means and here is what I think he was saying to me...

Each person deserves my love. LOOK at them, SEE them, for they see me through you.

As I went through my day yesterday, I tried to intentionally take the time to look DIRECTLY into peoples eyes.  Maybe not for super long, but for longer than I felt comfortable. Each conversation I had with someone was a little longer,  easier, more comfortable, and I didn't seem to fumble over my words as much.

Vulnerability might be my third love language, so when I look at someone I believe God reveals something to me each time and that I should move on it. And when I do move with the little nudges from God, He never falls short of showing me something fantastic in each person that I would not have known had I not taken the time to LOOK at them.

As a child I was around soooooooo many people. It was not that I was secluded, and babied...quiet the opposite.  I think I was just shy.  My kids have some of these same traits. It is so important that they learn to speak to people and show that they too care, because inside I know they do. I did as a child, I just didn't have the courage. Carolyn will ask me, "did you know that person?" after talking with a stranger for awhile. Which makes me chuckle down inside thinking of my small self.

And each time I speak to a stranger or talk longer with an acquaintance in front of my children, it shows them that I have courage.  I have spoken with them about how it used to be hard for me to speak to people - in fact in high school I cried through a persuasive speech just because I was so intimidated by my peers. However, that same year something switched in me. Call it hormones, call it my walk with Jesus solidifying - probably both - either way, I distinctly remembering saying, "I don't have time for this.  People are gonna like me or not, I might as well smile at them."

A smile can go a long way, but a smile into the eyes with a pause can go even further.

I apologize if I have ever looked at you and not REALLY looked at you. But know this, I do care, and am genuinely interested in what you have to say.

I will be speaking truth over myself instead of lies so that I can open myself to more conversations. I will not limit the possibilities for connection that the Lord places before my eyes for people to be SEEN. I will cast aside my inhibitions and the lies and walk in the truths that He has so greatly knit inside my heart. 

I rarely remember the complete verses to hymns, but this morning as I was typing this song sprung up from my childhood...

Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free





Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
    Spirit Divine!