Expectations

So there was this tree...

I have seen many of the red ones around town as the leaves changed from their bright green to their vibrant fall foliage.

My friend, Micah, pointed it out to me as I was walking with him.

Micah: "Look at that TREE! Isn't it just beautiful So fiery!"

Me: "It's just standing there saying, 'I'm RED!""

It was just casual conversation, but have you ever noticed how the Lord will speak to you in stanzas...which eventually speaks directly to your heart in a fully formed poem?!?!

This was one stanza. Another stanza was just the noticing of each red tree before and after this short conversation.

And then another stanza tonight. I attend a Family Group - which is a small group feeling, but it's actually a large group setting.  Tonight my friend, Sarah, spoke on the "Waiting" of the holiday season.  The anticipation of HIS coming and arrival to bring us peace, love, comfort, and all the things he died for, all wrapped up in the Advent season.

I'm not the best at waiting. In fact I kinda suck at it. I'm getting better with age, but teaching my children delayed gratification is just not one of my strong suits because I'm not the best at it.  However, when I take the time to wait...the reward, the decision, the moment leading up to the end, is all the more worthwhile. And it helps me to be more intentional and slower paced in this fast paced, stimulating world flying by me.

I can get wrapped up in expectations. Expectations of experiences. Expectations of presentations. Expectations of timelines. Expectations of making all the traditions happen because that's what we've always done. And with each expectation I place, I miss an opportunity to see another option...another way...and maybe even a better experience that I didn't know was a possibility.

Sometimes God speaks his stanzas to me in moving pictures whilst my eyes are closed. During our worship time tonight with my friends - my eyes closed and my heart waiting - a fiery red tree came into view (imagine like when you're at the movies and everything is black but the picture in front of you). It wasn't the same fiery red tree from the beginning of this week - but more like a white pine only RED! As the picture unfolds before me, I see this little girl begging her family for a red tree! They are about to go in to the store and she's skipping and jumping and excited to find the PERFECT tree. The ONLY red tree I see is this fiery red tree. She sees it too. It’s BEAUTIFUL! But right before she gets to the entrance I realize there are TWO entrances to the tree display. The little girl is so excited to get a tree that she doesn't even notice the second entrance and goes straight in to find THE ONLY RED tree.  I pause for a moment to see what might be beyond the second entrance.

You know at Lowe's when you enter the outside plant and tree display from inside, those huge doors open?!?! Well that's what it was like. Big, opaque doors open to reveal not ONE RED FIERY tree but soooooooooo many shades of RED fiery trees! And not just red ones but all kinds of colors! How could I even pick? And what about that little girl, she doesn't even know that there are SOOOO many options for her because she didn't even notice?!?!

I know that sounds kind of weird, but I asked God what he might be saying about that whole picture. I think what God was saying to me as I prepare my heart for this advent season, is not to miss the other routes.  That I can go into an event with loads of expectations, but if I don't slow down and notice the details and small things I might miss the vibrant opportunities to be present and not even KNOW the possibilities that could be before me! This little girl is me. And my heart was so sad for her to know that she was possibly missing out because she wasn't taking the time to pay attention.

I enjoy traditions and all the things that make Thanksgiving special. The entire season of preparing for Jesus's birth is filled with wonder.  But I'm going to try and slow down in the traditions and see what other fiery trees might be awaiting me to pick them.  This might mean less traditions or only some of the traditions this year, but if I slow down, I might notice my children and family and most importantly Jesus and the options he has made available to me.