judgement...it's everywhere
I sit realizing I'm staring at a family whose child is having a meltdown of the century. The Mother looks up and realizes I'm staring, and what do I do, I smile. I smile because I've been there before...maybe not right now, thank God, but probably 40 minutes earlier. I walk away with my children in tow and find myself wondering for that Mother.
Does she know I smiled at her out of EMPATHY because I can relate so well? Or does she think I smiled an uncomfortable smile covering up some judgement I'm making in my head? I hope she thinks it's out of Empathy, because it was, it really was. I never know what to say in those situations, so I end up just smiling and removing myself from the situation because I would want fewer spectators if my child were having a tantrum too.
But how often do others actually need to hear support from other stranger Mothers? Maybe more than I'd like to admit. I also am guilty of judging others, because who doesn't? And sometimes that smile might mean a judgement.
But the fact of the matter is, no matter a Mother's decision, in anything, as long as her child is not in danger of the decision at hand, we should have her back. Or at least show some support in realizing that parenting is hard and its not for the faint of heart. It's tiring, constant, rewarding, and sometimes dreadful.
No matter your stance on breast or bottle, stay-at-home or working/part-time, homeschooling/public/private, co-sleeping or not, no one should be judging the parents. Because, chances are someone doesn't agree with you. In moments of hard time, we should not be putting others down, but rising up to help each other. Share your wisdom, your thoughts, your advice. But as soon as you say, "I can't believe (insert judgement)" or "You really should..." you are telling your friend that what they've been doing is wrong. And in all honesty, everyone has something that works differently for their family. It may not work for yours, but your ways probably don't work for them.
All I'm saying is, we need to support each other...just as Mommies. From one Mommy to the next, we should be able to count on the empathy from other Mommies. Just in the fact that child-rearing is hard...and endless.
So the next time I see a lady having a hard time with her child, and she realizes I'm staring, I'm not just going to smile and run....
ok, I'll probably still smile, but this time I will try and make some kind of comment so that she knows she's not alone and that I feel for her...and then I'll probably run away.
"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29
Does she know I smiled at her out of EMPATHY because I can relate so well? Or does she think I smiled an uncomfortable smile covering up some judgement I'm making in my head? I hope she thinks it's out of Empathy, because it was, it really was. I never know what to say in those situations, so I end up just smiling and removing myself from the situation because I would want fewer spectators if my child were having a tantrum too.
But how often do others actually need to hear support from other stranger Mothers? Maybe more than I'd like to admit. I also am guilty of judging others, because who doesn't? And sometimes that smile might mean a judgement.
But the fact of the matter is, no matter a Mother's decision, in anything, as long as her child is not in danger of the decision at hand, we should have her back. Or at least show some support in realizing that parenting is hard and its not for the faint of heart. It's tiring, constant, rewarding, and sometimes dreadful.
No matter your stance on breast or bottle, stay-at-home or working/part-time, homeschooling/public/private, co-sleeping or not, no one should be judging the parents. Because, chances are someone doesn't agree with you. In moments of hard time, we should not be putting others down, but rising up to help each other. Share your wisdom, your thoughts, your advice. But as soon as you say, "I can't believe (insert judgement)" or "You really should..." you are telling your friend that what they've been doing is wrong. And in all honesty, everyone has something that works differently for their family. It may not work for yours, but your ways probably don't work for them.
All I'm saying is, we need to support each other...just as Mommies. From one Mommy to the next, we should be able to count on the empathy from other Mommies. Just in the fact that child-rearing is hard...and endless.
So the next time I see a lady having a hard time with her child, and she realizes I'm staring, I'm not just going to smile and run....
ok, I'll probably still smile, but this time I will try and make some kind of comment so that she knows she's not alone and that I feel for her...and then I'll probably run away.
"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29
You are such a good person. I'll bet that mother understood what your smile meant, because when you smile, your love and goodness shine through.
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