My little man

So, Luke, my precious little man, has been a lesson learned from the beginning.  His nature of doing things is always teaching me new things about myself and about how I should perceive others, namely Luke.  I believe God reveals these things to me through Luke so that I may be more patient and less judgmental with others because I have empathy.  Here is a memory that will always be burned into my brain...and boy did it teach me a lot.

During the summer I like to mooch off of my friends as much as I possibly can for their use of a swimming pool.  Well, actually, I don't like to, but I love to spend time with them, I was pregnant, and we just didn't have it in the budget to join a pool.  This past summer I would go the the Gamble Nipert YMCA almost every Wednesday with my two friends Tori & Julie and their girls.

We all know how much food is a HUGE factor in Luke's mood.  It can either make or break an outing.  He just doesn't transition well, and especially not on an empty stomach.  He is also very independent and stubborn; two qualities he got from both his parents, so it's a double dose! Every Wednesday it would almost play out the same way.  I would pack up the car to go swimming with a 20 month old and I'm 7 months pregnant, in the heat.  I would try and feed him a snack, but it ultimately was not enough.  I would rush him out of the car so that I could appear to be socially acceptable and hunky-dory.  Luke would be unhappy and cranky until we ate our lunch, because I didn't want to rush everyone else's schedule (wanting to please everyone else...I'm working on this). Then we would finally have about an hour of fun before meltdown because it was naptime...the car ride home is a whole other story.  This scenario would play out almost every week.

One day in particular was much MORE amplified in every aspect that I just described.

I was rushing Luke out the door and tried to shove a snack in him before we got to the pool as we drove in the car.  Everything seemed to be going well.  I pull into the parking lot and notice Julie and her daughter Molly have arrived at the same time.  I get out of the car and attempt to stay calm as I begin to get all tense inside with people pleasing (mind you, none of my friends ever asked for me to be a "people pleaser" and Julie has to be my most laid back friend). I unbuckle Luke,and let him take his time getting out of the car as I get the stroller and bags.  I realize Julie is standing next to me waiting for us and Molly is eager to say hello to Luke, who is not exactly the greatest at abrupt hellos.  I ask Luke to climb down and he won't for some reason.  I ask him again and because the child cannot talk we are both frustrated.  So I just pick him up and put him in the stroller because he wasn't moving fast enough for me. Luke is SCREAMING as I try and make friendly conversation with Julie trying to act like I'm ignoring him when I'm actually thinking of how I would love to invest in a good muzzle. 

Let me remind you again, I WAS so HOT,  7/8 months pregnant and it was probably 90 degrees that day and I had already drank 1 of my 2 water bottles.

Luke screams the whole way into the pool area, and EVERY mother and head has turned passing judgement.  My friends get their children ready to go into the pool very easily while I am trying to communicate with my child as to what he wants from me.  The kids are staring and asking their mommies, "why is Luke screaming so loud," "Mommy, whats wrong with him?"  Finally I tell them all to just get in the pool without us because Luke doesn't communicate well under pressure...well, really he doesn't communicate well, period.  I ask him if he wants a variety of snacks/foods trying to make everything sound exciting and fun hoping he would get distracted by something, but he's still just screaming in the stroller.  I am dripping with sweat and self-concious about my pregnant appearance, so naturally I'm not as patient as I should have been.  He's so upset he doesn't even want to get into the pool anymore.

With Luke still screaming, I am at my whits-end and make a decision.  Why should I be void of any pool relief just because my son is upset?  I'm obviously not doing anything to help the situation.  My decison is this: I will strap him into the stroller with a snack and water and I will go ahead and get in the pool without him.  This will give him time to calm down and me as well.  Of course, I could see him and he could see me so I was ready at a moments notice to help him if he needed anything.  This decision was my best move yet.  He sat in the stroller and fed himself till he was in a good mood.  I noticed he was calm and went back to him.  I asked if he would like to get in the pool now and he calmly and pleasantly said, "Yeah, Yeah", climbed down out of the stroller and we had a GRAND time the rest of the visit.

God has taught me many things through Luke.  This was a test of pride for sure.  I had to let go and realize he needed time to calm himself before talking about anything.  He is still like this.  Another thing learned was that I need to put my family's needs first ahead of my need to please everyone else.  If I had not felt the need to rush him he may not have blown up.  If I had just fed him lunch instead of trying to pull him into the pool he wouldn't have screamed at me either.  It also taught me that as much as he was frustrated with me, he was forgiving as well because he was so sweet the rest of the time.  I love his unconditional love for me and it shows:)  Hopefully he knows the measure of my love for him.

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