Stepping out
So yesterday, for the first time ever, I prayed to ask God to heal someone...IN PUBLIC. It was a very humbling experience. I have always been worried that I won't pray well on behalf of God; that I would be a terrible example of public prayer.
It's certainly not like in the movies where you see people speak in tongues or have an immediate, miraculous epiphany or healing. The message was about stepping out on our "Faith". The Pastor asked people to stand who had some type of physical pain or ailment. Right before he had mentioned this, I had asked God to show me how to be a little more selfless and step out on my faith. Well, so be it, two ladies stood up right next to me. It was like God was saying, "OK, here you go. Now don't be a wuss and punk out on me." So, naturally I felt as if I needed to do something. The Pastor made it very clear that this was not to be a performance of speaking in tongues or any kind of show; this was to be to Glorify Him and NOT us.
Then the Pastor says, "Now if someone around them could go to them and pray for them we are going to try and step out on our faith." It was like my hearing had gone bad and I began sweating profusely. I felt like you do in school when no one answers out-loud the question being asked, and you know the answer...it's only a matter of time before you break and HAVE to answer. God was answering our aforementioned conversation. I stand up and walk over to the lady, whom I know pretty well (as well as you can know someone you see at church every Sunday and make small talk). We were given instructions before this on what to say and how to say it. I was so nervous and was trying to focus so hard on this other person that needed healing and tried to make sure I didn't cry so that the focus wasn't on me (because we all know that I am the BIGGEST crybaby). All this nervousness made me forget to listen to the Pastor and I started before I was supposed to. The whole situation just became a little more uncomfortable...if that's at all possible.
Needless to say, nothing happened, as far as I know, to the lady for whom I prayed. I started to get very discouraged about the entire situation...me screwing up what to say, making a bad impression for God, not being good at this praying thing, WHY IN THE WORLD DID I DO THIS!?!?!? So, I prayed to him again. I asked him to show me how this little scenario could be used to glorify His name. I was trying to figure out some way in which this horrific display of "Faith" could have a positive spin.
The Pastor goes on to ask if anyone felt healed immediately. No one answered...
Then he asks if anyone felt the presence of God on them, but still may not be healed. No one answered...
Then he asked for people to raise their hands if NOTHING happened. All those who were prayed for raised their hands...
Then he said something I'll never forget. He said, "That's ok! This is where God shows us that his prayer, healing, and glory are not about us. It's about Him. This is to humble our hearts."
Then he goes on to ask if this was a first for people to be prayed for or for people to pray for others. I realized this was my first time doing this...in public.
It may have been a disaster in our eyes, but I got to thinking. Maybe in God's eyes it pleased Him. Maybe it pleased Him to see me step out of my comfort zone and try to respond to a call. Maybe this is a seed for me as I grow in my faith and become more comfortable praying for others. I want to be a more visible and welcoming spirit for the Lord. I think this little "situation" may have helped me gain more confidence for the next time. It is also just another story of how my conversations with God happen time after time. I pray, He answers, I act like I didn't think he would answer, and I finally realize that He answered and I need to now respond to Him. I pray I continue to step out on my faith and respond to God's calls as He sees fit.
"To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do and he will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:1-3
It's certainly not like in the movies where you see people speak in tongues or have an immediate, miraculous epiphany or healing. The message was about stepping out on our "Faith". The Pastor asked people to stand who had some type of physical pain or ailment. Right before he had mentioned this, I had asked God to show me how to be a little more selfless and step out on my faith. Well, so be it, two ladies stood up right next to me. It was like God was saying, "OK, here you go. Now don't be a wuss and punk out on me." So, naturally I felt as if I needed to do something. The Pastor made it very clear that this was not to be a performance of speaking in tongues or any kind of show; this was to be to Glorify Him and NOT us.
Then the Pastor says, "Now if someone around them could go to them and pray for them we are going to try and step out on our faith." It was like my hearing had gone bad and I began sweating profusely. I felt like you do in school when no one answers out-loud the question being asked, and you know the answer...it's only a matter of time before you break and HAVE to answer. God was answering our aforementioned conversation. I stand up and walk over to the lady, whom I know pretty well (as well as you can know someone you see at church every Sunday and make small talk). We were given instructions before this on what to say and how to say it. I was so nervous and was trying to focus so hard on this other person that needed healing and tried to make sure I didn't cry so that the focus wasn't on me (because we all know that I am the BIGGEST crybaby). All this nervousness made me forget to listen to the Pastor and I started before I was supposed to. The whole situation just became a little more uncomfortable...if that's at all possible.
Needless to say, nothing happened, as far as I know, to the lady for whom I prayed. I started to get very discouraged about the entire situation...me screwing up what to say, making a bad impression for God, not being good at this praying thing, WHY IN THE WORLD DID I DO THIS!?!?!? So, I prayed to him again. I asked him to show me how this little scenario could be used to glorify His name. I was trying to figure out some way in which this horrific display of "Faith" could have a positive spin.
The Pastor goes on to ask if anyone felt healed immediately. No one answered...
Then he asks if anyone felt the presence of God on them, but still may not be healed. No one answered...
Then he asked for people to raise their hands if NOTHING happened. All those who were prayed for raised their hands...
Then he said something I'll never forget. He said, "That's ok! This is where God shows us that his prayer, healing, and glory are not about us. It's about Him. This is to humble our hearts."
Then he goes on to ask if this was a first for people to be prayed for or for people to pray for others. I realized this was my first time doing this...in public.
It may have been a disaster in our eyes, but I got to thinking. Maybe in God's eyes it pleased Him. Maybe it pleased Him to see me step out of my comfort zone and try to respond to a call. Maybe this is a seed for me as I grow in my faith and become more comfortable praying for others. I want to be a more visible and welcoming spirit for the Lord. I think this little "situation" may have helped me gain more confidence for the next time. It is also just another story of how my conversations with God happen time after time. I pray, He answers, I act like I didn't think he would answer, and I finally realize that He answered and I need to now respond to Him. I pray I continue to step out on my faith and respond to God's calls as He sees fit.
"To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do and he will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:1-3
Comments
Post a Comment