To The Crushed in Spirit

It fascinates me how intricately woven we all are, one from another. We each have desires, abilities, and strengths that God so tightly knits into our souls that sometimes they come spilling out when we least expect it. What an exciting moment when you minister to someone's heart due to the overflow of what your heart has cultivated! From the goodness that he has placed in us, we continue to pour out even more than we dreamed...if we look to him. 

When we pour out from the inflow of Him in our strengths, true Kingdom cultivation happens. In OUR strengths. Not someone else's strengths, but the strengths that are so different from person to person. When you think of specific details and attributes of who God created you to be, there in lies truth about your identity in HIM. Your identity is so different than mine because that’s how he intended. 

It's also in the strengths that the enemy can speak the loudest. The attributes God has so tenderly loved and placed in our hearts can sound muddled when we do not cultivate what we have been given. I have trained my mind to know my strengths - I have taken a lot of ground back from years of tormented assumptions of others and accusations to myself. When I do not take the time to talk with God or talk with others that have a filter of God’s perspective, or reaffirm my identity, then the enemy's lies can creep in. It amazes me that when you write down and specifically say what you believe about yourself to someone else, the lies sound comical - you can't even say them to someone else because as soon as they roll off the tongue it sounds like gibberish. Did I really just say that about myself? When you say your identity with a filter of God's heart, the lies sound ludicrous. And even after you’ve taken great care to know exactly what you are, and have used that TRUE identity for good, the enemy takes extra special care to twist those identities into ridiculous verbage.

Do you know just the other day, I heard myself say to a friend, "I encourage too much..." - Because I sat and over-analyzed a different conversation I had with another friend. Is there even such a thing as "too much encouragement?" Well, I don't need to defend myself to anyone in whom God has made me to be, because I answer to Him! But the enemy knows exactly how to turn our fire breathing goodness into something that smells rotten.

Wendy Backlund, author of Victorious Emotions, says, "Don't let your emotional beliefs keep you from God's best." When I start feeling down on myself I let it all out to my dear friends that are ever so patient with me. It is so important to me to be surrounded by others that know my heart, can challenge me in my wrongs and show me where to look and what is absolutely ridiculous! 

Do you know how it usually starts, "What I just heard you say is you are selfish. Are you selfish? What does God say about that?" Much to my amazement I am pointed back at my creator that breathed life, and vitality into me different than any other.

Yes, we each are a child of God. Yes we each carry authority in his kingdom. Yes, we are loved abundantly by an amazing God, but WHO are YOU in HIM? Who does he specifically say you are? What has he specifically called you to be? How do you love others well? Because I am convinced that when we love well, that is the fruit of knowing our identity. 

I challenge you to make a list of all he has created you to be - and be specific! Even if it starts small. I did this five years ago and you know what I wrote...3 measely things...

• I am a child of God
  
• I am a good friend
• I am a writer
  

That's all the things I could affirmatively write about myself. No more adjectives. No more verbs. No more actions. That last one I wrote and erased and rewrote. TODAY I rewrote my list and I have since added 30 more! Your list is going to look different than minefield to our different natures and giftings and yet might seem very similar. My first list was so short because I could not see what the Father sees. I had such a lack of identity. I noticed this new list was lacking shame, guilt, and poor self image. Because in this list is an abundance of what I believe the father sees in me. 

• I am loving
• I am patient
• I am kind
• I am a child of God
• I am a good friend
• I am a writer
• I am willing to be pruned because I know he means it for good. 
• I am salty! 
• I have a laugh ordained by God
• I am anointed 
• I am a leader of children and women
• I am a woman of perseverance 
• I am confident
• I am an outward processor
• I am full of his love and joy - all the time
• I am written in his book!
• I am a lover of toddlers
• I am a priestess with a heavenly perspective
• I am a lover of God’s word
• I am a lover of the son
• I am a lover of the Holy Spirit
• I am creative
• I am only one person
• I am a whisperer of truth 
• I have a divine imagination 
• I am worthy because Jesus lives in me
• I am enough because I am fully his
• I am good
• I am a dancer
• I am an encourager

As you make a list, know even if you only write three things, that’s a start! Beginning to believe what your worth and identity come from is a GOOD beginning and should be celebrated. Just know that God has so many more adjectives for you and none of them shame. This little one looks to her daddy with confidence and pep in her step because she is assured he guides, loves and believes all the best, so can you! Your father in heaven believes all the best of you - and even more that you haven’t discovered yet! He is a good God that guides us and wants to rock and roll beside us as we faithfully walk the path he has set before us with confidence of ourselves BECAUSE OF HIM! Don’t let the enemy limit you by taking what is beautiful and meant for good! Take those specific goodies and walk confidently in your lord. I would love to see your lists!!!