Vulnerability fist bumping

Yesterday was hard people. In so many ways. But today...today was so good! 

I start my days in quiet journaling, studying, and listening for God. Today, however my soul needed something different. I put on some of my favorite tunes and just started writing my gratitude for people. Basically, I cried for the good part of an hour...crying and writing. By the end of the set, my heart was lifted higher, I knew things could only moved forward and not backward, AND my children were fed and miraculously ready for the school day with little help from me. 

Our morning routine of filing in the car, grabbing all the necessary things - only to come back in the house for no less than two things - ensues...but everyone is calm and sweet. We say sweet goodbyes for the day to the older two and then my youngest and I make our way to school. On the way I can remember thinking, “I hope nobody asks me how I am and actually mean it. I don’t think I have the vulnerability in me today.” 

Well - today was our last day in December at school and the parents of my 3’s class showered me with so many wonderful gifts, and smiles, and of course their sweet little ones were ever so kind. The morning of fun ends and we say our goodbyes. 

And then a friend sees me in the hallway and has time to actually stop to listen. She asks the normal, “How are you?” And at first I mention all the good things for today but then I also just start rambling and before I know it I am mentioning all the things that have been hard this week and I just start crying. I had told the stories in bits and pieces to others throughout the day, but not fully having time to divulge my emotions. She hugs me and cries a little with me. And hugs me again. We say our goodbyes and head out. 

The afternoon progresses with normal errands and car lines. But things seem lighter and not heavier. I had not had time to actually open any gifts from my students until dinnertime. I am about to leave to pickup my oldest from Chess club and a text comes through from that hallway friend...

Can I bring you some of my favorite soup? 

And more tears come because I so needed a home cooked meal not from me. I said yes when I usually would have said no. She arrived passed me the goods and hugged me again. She gets it. 

The evening progresses with a fun adventure at the New mega all the things store - which I was not adequately prepared for and neither were my children (It was straight outta who-vile with so much over the topness - I’m sure I’ll learn to enjoy). We picked out all of our favorite goodies and “dinner” was made. We have a routine of making a shmorgasboard one night when Daddy is outta town for longer than 3 days.

As I was sitting with my daughter I remembered I had forgotten to open my gifts from my students. Each parent wrote me a card or had a child write one for me. More tears came and it was just so beautiful. My quiet night at home with my Littles and all the words from those parents was an answer in prayer for my ever vulnerable heart. 

And I’m almost certain that those people responded because of vulnerablility. Sometimes I think I overshare but sometimes I think I do because others then share with me. 

I was so blessed today by these acts of vulnerability that I’m still crying as I sit here recapping my day. 

My God loves to be relational and I think he works wonders that way - through people. Being vulnerable, yeah I think I’ll first bump to that today.