Up from the depths of survival mode

I'm not sure that it was ever in our complete plans to have babies so close in age.  The weekend before we found out we were pregnant with our third, we were watching a t.v. series that involved a lot of young children running around and we turned to each other and said, "HA! WE will NEVER have 3 children 3 and under!"...

Well, the next weekend we would be eating our words...our daughter would soon have her 1st birthday and our oldest had not even turned 2 yet!  AHHHHH! I mean I "knew" it would be exhausting because of course EVERYONE tells you, "Oh you are gonna have your hands full!" but...whatever!

It's no secret I always envisioned myself a mother of young children.  But I don't think ANYTHING prepared me for; the cloudiness of thought process, the moments of shear terror, the never-seeming to end sleepless nights, the always making your best guess as to why they are upset - which is brain numbing - the frequent in the moment discipline that needs to happen, the poop - oh my goodness the everything encompassing poop - the thought that you need to seem like you have all your sh*t together for fear of someone thinking you might have PPD, and just normal life happenings.

I am fairly certain that I have lived the first 6 years of my parenting career in a fog.

But let me tell you, there is retribution!

I have recently felt like the fog has lifted...at least a little. I am still tired and parenting is still hard, but I feel like I have passed out of SURVIVAL MODE.  The scheduled manner in which I have planned my life for the past 5 years seems to be a little more forgiving.  I've felt freedom and spontaneity that seemed to be missing.

• At the pool...there is not the insane chaos of "all three of them could drown at any moment."
• We can spontaneously decide to go to the zoo...WITHOUT A STROLLER!
• I do not feel the need to have their lunches completely packed just to run an errand because I can make it back to the house before lunch-thirty
• we can stay up later...evening activities in general seem less haired
• I feel like I can spontaneously take a trip, as the lone adult, with 2-3 of the kids in the car to see a good friend.
• a trip to the store...after nap time...seems attainable
• adult conversation seems a little less interrupted (just a little)
• I FINISHED 4 "fun" reads plus other child-rearing books...it's been awhile folks
• breastfeeding does not control our speed of the day
• I can focus on getting my body back into shape...or a new shape...or maybe just more shapely
• the window of allotted time to complete tasks does not need to include so much "because of little kids" time - still need extra time, just not as much...and there is a better chance of the tasks to actually be completed.

I mean don't get me wrong, they still need to stay on a fairly routine schedule, go to bed at a decent time, eat their regularly scheduled meals within a decent window, I still can't go to the bathroom on my own, and of course whenever a new developmental milestone is being made, all emotions are front and center. But there seems to be a little more room for fun, grace, and spontaneity that I did not know I was missing.

So mamas of multiple young ones, even just as I tried to love as much of the little moments and pause I still felt foggy...foggy for 5 years...and I'm here to tell you, your fog will lift soon enough.

the fog will lift and you'll be able to multi-task even better than before...