Good Night Sweetheart, Well It's Time to Go

Good night sweet heart, well it's time to go...
Good night sweet heart, well it's time to go...
I hate to leave you, I really must say,
Oh, good night sweetheart, goodnight.

Sad emoji face...

Such sweet words...

I sang this to all my sweet babies after they would fall asleep from a nightly feeding.  Oh how I enjoyed those feedings.  Maybe not the waking up part.  But most definitely the snuggling, and inhaling the sweet smell of that baby.

I believe that this time has come to an end...

I have been blessed with three beautiful babes and am so thankful for all their different characters and personalities.  But, I always, obviously not realistically, envisioned myself as a Mother of young children.

so this is hard, people...

We recently switched the nursery, that I so carefully planned, into my 4 yr old daughter's bedroom.  No more nursery.  I always knew that the end of my baby making years would be rough, but I did not expect to be as emotional as I was/am (which I'm not sure why?!?!).

I enjoy organizing and consolidating, recycling and reusing, and just cleaning out in general...it gives me peace.  But as I was preparing to paint the walls, all that peace and accomplishment was met with tears, and memories.  And then, as I began to "disrobe"the room of it's furnishings, all of a sudden I was met with tangible evidence of memories from loving my babies:

The nicks in the wall from where the rocking chair hit
The breast milk splatter from late night feedings (I know weird right?!?!, but an inside joke with myself)
The teeth marks all across the crib
The open bottle of Lansinoh I found in a drawer
The ointment they send you home with from the hospital
The decals I so purposefully placed and picked for the nursery
The window that needs cleaning because my room darkening curtains have been covering them for ages.
The head indent on the rocking chair pad from the sleepless nights I spent rocking my babies
The baby clothes I forgot I stowed
The streaks on the walls from the moisture of the humidifier running because there is nothing else to remotely ease a poor baby's cough or nasal congestion.

plus many, many others

But, it's time for a new station in life.  It's time to move on. It's time to embrace things like...

everyone being able to walk for themselves...I mean relatively speaking
naps not being such a must...I mean besides for my sanity
NO MORE DIAPERS...can I get an AMEN!
no more diaper caddy smell
no more switching clothes sizes every 2 months
children being able to tell you what is specifically hurting them...instead of it being a guessing game
packing less as I leave the house...which means I can wear my cute purses
going to amusement parks and everyone gets to ride. 

I mean, these are all great things and I am excited to see where God takes us next...BUT I might be stealing cuddles from other peoples babies for awhile...I won't steal the babies...just the snuggles.

So don't think I'm crazy....mmmmmkeh!  Just send some prayers.

this was just after we had put the nursery together...boy did I have no idea what I was getting into