Good and Tasty Fruits
I've been convicted. My heart needs a change. At times, this mothering thing is more difficult than I would have ever thought. I hate looking back on things and having regrets...and I indeed can think of many times when I have reacted in a way that brings me a feeling of regret. None of them are some huge, tragic incident that deems this horrific display of parenting. It's just the day-to-day simple life happenings - which shouldn't get me in such a tizzy - and yet I'm afraid that my children are going to remember me for these reactions instead of a graceful, patient, and merciful mom. I can be better.
I read a blog post on Momastery and she wrote about "Mompetition". Moms performing and doing amazing things with their child, posting about it on Facebook, and her sarcastically saying that these moms are clearly doing all these things AT HER. Exercising...AT HER, cooking fabulous meals...AT HER...epic birthday parties...AT HER, breast/bottle feeding...AT HER, kids who are good sleepers...AT HER...and on and on and on.
I am SUPER great at comparing myself to others and their successes and projecting their success as a failure of mine because I didn't do it that way. I have been super great at believing these lies that I am not a good enough Mom, and that I am not patient, and that if I only did it the way "She" did it, maybe I wouldn't react so poorly. I've been feeling that I need to change something to be better at this mom thing. I've prayed and prayed and realized I haven't really been listening to his answers...until these past few weeks where God has pretty much hit me over the head with what needs to change...
At church we've been going through an identity series, specifically you're identity in Christ. Two Wednesdays ago a Pastor spoke on Righteousness...our righteousness in God. In him we are righteous, with Him we are righteous, and if we live a life FULLY with Him we cannot perish (Romans 6:17-18)...and that's how I've been feeling...like I am perishing. I've been living and doing things based on experiences and not standing on TRUTH.
Then Sunday, another message about...well, I can't remember exactly, because I am loosing my marbles, and perishing, and didn't take good notes during the message so I can't recall a single scripture, BUT I remember it was good and gave me the same feeling of how something is going to change for me soon...dramatically...hopefully.
And then came Wednesday...by far one of the best revelations I have had in my walk with God since I met him and started to grow close with him. It's like God was speaking right AT me. Our Pastor's wife gave a message on perception. How we perceive ourselves and the fruits of that perception. If we perceive ourselves differently than God sees us, then we are wrong and need to change our perception. She gave an illustration of a tree that produces an "okay" fruit, like an Apple tree. But it's not exactly the kind of apple we want, or the apples are not full bodied and rich in flavor. We are that tree. When things aren't going right for us and we want a "Better Fruit" we often try to dress that fruit and paint it a different color or put pretty things on it. However, that doesn't actually change the fruit that tree will make. It will still make a regular apple, not full bodied or rich, just the same. But, if we want to change the fruit, then we need to address the roots and the inside of the tree in order for the fruit to be beautiful. We need to nourish it and change what is going on inside that tree. In order to change our behaviors - what the tree produces - then we need to change our perception of ourselves.
She mentioned Romans 12:2 "Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
If we think differently of ourselves than God does, then we are wrong. He thinks we are good and pleasing and perfect. And if I believe that TRUTH, my fruit should transform into beautiful fruit, the fruit God made me to be. When I compare myself to others and tell myself the lies that Satan has planted in my head and wants me to believe, my behavior and actions are not going to change. But when I lean on God's TRUTH and believe it and say it, then my behaviors should change.
I can't change much about my kids behaviors, at least not with force and condemnation. But I can change my behaviors and the way I react to them and hopefully that will change the fruits. I'm not saying things won't be hard but they might be less worrisome and less stressful if I stop trying to compare myself to others and believe the good about myself that God sees.
God knows I am a good Mom.
God knows my kids are good.
God knows that I am patient.
God knows that I am doing exactly what I was meant to do.
God knows I am punctual so I need to wake up earlier.
So, I have written these down and plan to say them to myself as part of my morning routine. I will believe these truths God has given me and reject the lies that I am less than other moms.
God wants us to be free and not tied up in things of the world...but free and happy. I'm going to focus more on God's truth, speak it over me, instead of the lies I have grown accustomed to believe.
Galatians 5:1 "So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law."
Because goodness knows, I want to be free...
I read a blog post on Momastery and she wrote about "Mompetition". Moms performing and doing amazing things with their child, posting about it on Facebook, and her sarcastically saying that these moms are clearly doing all these things AT HER. Exercising...AT HER, cooking fabulous meals...AT HER...epic birthday parties...AT HER, breast/bottle feeding...AT HER, kids who are good sleepers...AT HER...and on and on and on.
I am SUPER great at comparing myself to others and their successes and projecting their success as a failure of mine because I didn't do it that way. I have been super great at believing these lies that I am not a good enough Mom, and that I am not patient, and that if I only did it the way "She" did it, maybe I wouldn't react so poorly. I've been feeling that I need to change something to be better at this mom thing. I've prayed and prayed and realized I haven't really been listening to his answers...until these past few weeks where God has pretty much hit me over the head with what needs to change...
At church we've been going through an identity series, specifically you're identity in Christ. Two Wednesdays ago a Pastor spoke on Righteousness...our righteousness in God. In him we are righteous, with Him we are righteous, and if we live a life FULLY with Him we cannot perish (Romans 6:17-18)...and that's how I've been feeling...like I am perishing. I've been living and doing things based on experiences and not standing on TRUTH.
Then Sunday, another message about...well, I can't remember exactly, because I am loosing my marbles, and perishing, and didn't take good notes during the message so I can't recall a single scripture, BUT I remember it was good and gave me the same feeling of how something is going to change for me soon...dramatically...hopefully.
And then came Wednesday...by far one of the best revelations I have had in my walk with God since I met him and started to grow close with him. It's like God was speaking right AT me. Our Pastor's wife gave a message on perception. How we perceive ourselves and the fruits of that perception. If we perceive ourselves differently than God sees us, then we are wrong and need to change our perception. She gave an illustration of a tree that produces an "okay" fruit, like an Apple tree. But it's not exactly the kind of apple we want, or the apples are not full bodied and rich in flavor. We are that tree. When things aren't going right for us and we want a "Better Fruit" we often try to dress that fruit and paint it a different color or put pretty things on it. However, that doesn't actually change the fruit that tree will make. It will still make a regular apple, not full bodied or rich, just the same. But, if we want to change the fruit, then we need to address the roots and the inside of the tree in order for the fruit to be beautiful. We need to nourish it and change what is going on inside that tree. In order to change our behaviors - what the tree produces - then we need to change our perception of ourselves.
She mentioned Romans 12:2 "Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
If we think differently of ourselves than God does, then we are wrong. He thinks we are good and pleasing and perfect. And if I believe that TRUTH, my fruit should transform into beautiful fruit, the fruit God made me to be. When I compare myself to others and tell myself the lies that Satan has planted in my head and wants me to believe, my behavior and actions are not going to change. But when I lean on God's TRUTH and believe it and say it, then my behaviors should change.
I can't change much about my kids behaviors, at least not with force and condemnation. But I can change my behaviors and the way I react to them and hopefully that will change the fruits. I'm not saying things won't be hard but they might be less worrisome and less stressful if I stop trying to compare myself to others and believe the good about myself that God sees.
God knows I am a good Mom.
God knows my kids are good.
God knows that I am patient.
God knows that I am doing exactly what I was meant to do.
God knows I am punctual so I need to wake up earlier.
So, I have written these down and plan to say them to myself as part of my morning routine. I will believe these truths God has given me and reject the lies that I am less than other moms.
God wants us to be free and not tied up in things of the world...but free and happy. I'm going to focus more on God's truth, speak it over me, instead of the lies I have grown accustomed to believe.
Galatians 5:1 "So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law."
Because goodness knows, I want to be free...
Elly- your words are great. How many times Satan has won my attention over God. Why is it so easy to believe his words overs God's? I try every day to look at myself the way my parents and God would see me instead of how Satan sees me.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt that we give so many others. Love - not only others, but ourselves. You don't need me to say it, but you are an amazing friend, daughter, sister, wife, and especially mother. Your children are the luckiest kids in the world to have you loving them and showing them how God loves them. So many look to your example for guidance, not saying that to pressure you, but for you to see that so many people see you as a GREAT person whom God loves. Great job, love the post and need to listen to it with my heart so much, every day. Love you
I love this. And I think you're absolutely right, this "mom petition" didn't really start until social media gave people an outlet to show all the things they do that are awesome. Personally I love when things show up that show other people in REAL LIFE- like your precious Ben with chocolate all over his face!!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing mom. We all bring different things to our family's table, but it's just what our family needs. When I think of you (even before kids!) I have always viewed you as patient, and a God loving person. Give yourself grace (isn't that hard??? WHY? I feel the same way!!).
Thanks for being a friend that brings perspective into my life, and reminds me that everyone goes through the same emotions as a mom! Although, if those kids would just LISTEN THE FIRST TIME I'd be way better at being patient...
Love you friend!!