Unsolicited Advice

Things I’m secure in because now I’m 40…

Unsolicited advice for those of you wanting to be entertained:

• Vulnerability and honesty go hand in hand for me. If you aren’t ready for both of those things from me…maybe turn and run because I can’t escape them. 
• I like alone time. Not for long, but I now know how necessary it is for my well-being. Those of you that know me know how far I’ve come. 
• No longer is my focus a low number on the scale, but exercise and strength is important to me and my longevity.
• So is eating ice cream. 
• I like black coffee. It makes me think of all the times I said I would never drink it to my grandmother and how grown up I am now. 
• Stretching is now an everyday practice. All the triangle poses, warrior poses and hip flexor relaxers are integral to the success of the day.
• Keeping my marriage spicey is a priority. And in order for that to happen there needs to be connection. He is my best friend but we’ve worked at it and we certainly aren’t perfect. 
• Spontaneity is a later in life addition that I wish would have happened sooner. I love a good plan and checklist but so much joy can be birthed from spontaneous occasions. 
• A true friendship isn’t just fun - it’s two people able to say the things no one else wants to tell you, but in love and for your betterment. Friends celebrate you and check on you. Get you some good friends. 
• I like laughing and I don’t care who hears me. 
• Jesus is my closest friend. I know this now more than I ever have. 
• God’s call on my life only continues to unfold. There are things I never could have imagined that He has opened doors for me to stumble in. But they’ve always produced fruit when I take the invite. 
• Having an opinion that is truly weighted with research, thought and discernment is a well crafted practice. I highly recommend having one and presenting it with grace and knowledge of right timing. 
• Being right isn’t always the reward. Speaking truth in love always brings a higher return. 
• Drinking now requires at least two types of liquids. Depending on the time of day it’s either coffee, or wine, but always water. 
• In my twenties I wish I knew how gloriously I was sleeping. Sleep away young ones.
• Wear what you like and what makes you feel good - not because it’s on trend or because someone else said so. Chances are, if you like it you are rockin’ it.
• GOOD food doesn’t have to be hard nor take four pans to create. Cook what you like and enjoy it. 
• Reading books is a favorite. I read more for knowledge than I ever did in my scholarly days. 
• Being kind doesn’t mean I don’t have boundaries. In fact boundaries help me love others to my fullest. I don’t have to justify my boundaries, but I do need to clarify them. 
• Share your expectations with people. You’ll quickly find out their’s either align with yours or they don’t and a common ground can be found. But if you never share them, disappointment will be in your future. 
• If you haven’t opened a ROTH IRA yet and you are above the age of 18, put down your device and figure out how to do it. Then Max it out every year you can. 
• PLAY! Just because you are “older” doesn’t mean you are obsolete from having fun. Figure out who and what helps you giggle and make space for those people and activities. These things may include leg wrestling. 
• For me dancing is inevitable. I will take any moment to dance and embarrass my children and lay aside anyone’s opinions of my moves. Because guess what, I don’t dance for them. 
• Confidence. It has taken me 40 years but I am claiming confidence in areas that I never would have guessed. Confidence is a characteristic weighted on comparison. If I relieve myself of comparison, then confidence remains OR the desire to learn and educate myself. 

I’m sure there are more thoughts that I could collect, but after two weeks of stewing, these seemed most important.